Society

Villages’ quirky Halloween celebrations also involve human sacrifice

RURAL villages that mark Halloween with funny old-fashioned ceremonies always kill someone at the end, it has emerged.

Immigration poll reveals Daily Mail working like a charm

THE Daily Mail has welcomed a poll which shows just how incredibly wrong British people are about levels of immigration.

Middle class people wishing they could spend holidays in a hotel

BRITAIN’S middle class people are sick of having to stay in cold, draughty old cottages whenever they go on holiday.

Children raise half-term bribe level

THE UK's children have increased their price for not being little bastards during half-term.

Man thinks he gets a lot of emails

UNEMPLOYED Wayne Hayes is under the impression that 12 emails a day is a lot.

Britain to dig massive tunnel for no reason whatsoever

BRITAIN is to dig a tunnel through the Pennines because it was unable to come up with anything else.

Bowling only of interest to show-offs

TRIPS to bowling alleys are always organised by men who want to show off, it has emerged.

Polish man accused of deluging village

A POLISH man is overwhelming a village in Cornwall, it has been claimed.