Vegetarian excited by single choice on restaurant menu

A VEGETARIAN has rejoiced at the one suitable meal offered on a restaurant menu.

Self-employed man dreams of becoming oppressed wage slave

A SELF-EMPLOYED man would love to be trapped in a soul-destroying salaried job, he has confirmed.

Most immigrants are escaped Kryptonian prisoners, reveals Daily Mail

TWO-THIRDS of all immigrants were imprisoned on their home planet Krypton before escaping and heading to Britain, the Daily Mail has revealed.

Daily Express reader’s world crumbles after wrong paper delivered

AN EXPRESS reader is struggling to come to terms with his new reality after receiving a different newspaper by mistake.

Worker’s ID badge photo shows them as a young and happy person with dreams

AN OFFICE worker’s ID badge photo shows them 20 years ago when they thought they’d only be there six months.

Grammar schools not prioritising middle class pupils enough, say middle class parents

MIDDLE CLASS pupils are not getting enough help to be the best at everything, say their parents.

Boss admits staff not really like a family to him

A BOSS’S claim that his staff are like a family to him has collapsed under very little scrutiny.

Brunch ‘wank’

BRUNCH is a massive load of wank, it has emerged.