Society

Couple in desperate race to buy second-cheapest thing on wedding list

A COUPLE are racing against time to buy the second least expensive item on their friends’ wedding list.

Couple in long deathly silence after deciding to stop moaning

A LONG period of uncomfortable silence is ongoing after a couple decided to stop moaning. 

Telling people you take Viagra now less awkward than saying you voted for Brexit

IT IS now less embarrassing to tell people you take Viagra than to say you voted for Brexit, according to a new study.

Vengeful toddler gets father into boring dad chat

A DISGRUNTLED toddler has drawn his father into a conversation with another dad just to watch him writhe in awkwardness.  

1999 VW Golf with faulty exhaust now a London status symbol

DRIVING a knackered old hatchback in central London now costs £21.50 a day, so everyone wants to do it.

That wanker from school living in Dubai now

THAT utter wanker from school is now living in Dubai, it has been confirmed.

Mum feels pre-emptively guilty about lie-in

A MUM-OF-THREE has spent the night before a planned lie in apologising to her loved ones for being 'self indulgent', sources have confirmed.

My week whited-up as an angry, middle-aged man

Why I, an Afro-Caribbean woman, decided to put on latex, a fatsuit, ironed bootcut M&S jeans and a crisp blue shirt to find out the truth about life among the whites.