THE UK government has been overthrown by a liberal elite junta headed by Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee.
SHOWING initiative is a waste of time for the person who does it and those who have to live with the consequences.
MIDDLE-AGED couples are legally required to wear matching practical jackets to even the most inappropriate occasions, it has been confirmed.
A NATIONWIDE personality study has found that only 0.4 per cent of the population is not obsessed with sofas and fighting.
THE ruins of a secret Nazi fortress have been discovered in suburban south-east London.
JEREMY Clarkson has become a wild man who talks to rabbits about how magpies are scroungers.
A NEWSPAPER journalist has admitted she will stop at nothing, including murder, to get an uplifting human interest story.
FAMILY properties worth more than £1m in Catford and Peckham have announced they will open to the public at weekends.