London Underground ‘could eventually run during the day’

LONDON Underground could eventually run an uninterrupted service for up to 18 hours a day, it has been claimed.

Proud parents got to pay for f**king university now

THE parents of students who achieved their A Level goals are pretending to be happy about the situation.

Woman reads far too much into horror film

A 24-YEAR-OLD woman thinks the film Insidious makes some valid points about the perils of the supernatural.

Unexploded bomb makes property more desirable, claims estate agent

AN unexploded World War II bomb is a ‘heritage feature’ of a Bethnal Green two-bedroom flat, according to estate agents.

Scientists baffled by job that isn’t shit

SCIENTISTS are puzzled by a man whose job is both fairly paid and does not fill him with dread every morning.

Man’s greatest ambition is to have thicker arms

A 28-YEAR-OLD man has admitted he wants nothing more from life than to have thicker arms.

Luxury apartments demolished to make way for community hall

A VIBRANT luxury development in East London has been demolished to make space for a drop-in centre for locals of all ages.

Retired ‘scabs’ return to break one last rail strike

THE government is to combat rail strikes by putting together a crack team of retired ‘scabs’.