EVERYTHING in Britain is now unbearably amazing.
THE government plans to bulldoze Newcastle while the nation's attention is on the opening of the Olympic Games.
GEORGE Osborne's plans to ransom the 80,000 spectators to the Olympics opening ceremony have been leaked.
SCOTTISH people will soon be able to marry their favourite high calorie snack.
INJUNCTION proceedings forcing border staff into work on Thursday will ensure the gruffest possible welcome for Olympic tourists, it has been claimed.
MILLIONS of Britons are thinking about what they'd be doing in the sun if they weren't busting their asses in a soulless office environment.
THIS year's top 10 names for cocaine have been announced by leading drugs trade figures.
BUILDERS' cash-in-hand earnings only remain outside the tax system until they arrive at a place that sells beer, it has been claimed.