Society

New school stuff pointless for crap children, say parents

BUYING expensive ‘back to school’ items for academically useless, un-sporty children is a futile gesture, according to parents.

Uncovered nipples on rampage of destruction

AN army of uncovered nipples is wreaking havoc across Britain.

Awkward silence at breakfast as father tells teenage daughter to ‘man the f**k up’

A FATHER has stunned his family by suggesting his daughter 'get a sense of frigging perspective' after a pop group split up.

Man determined to buy cushions

A MAN has committed himself to buying some cushions from a shop, regardless of public opinion.

Couple on first date really over doing their body language

A COUPLE on a first date are really over doing their body language signals, it has emerged.

Part-time smoker's attempt at roll up an ‘abomination’

A SOCIAL smoker's attempt at making a rolled up cigarette has been classed an ‘abomination’ by all who saw it.

Optimistic father gives Black and Decker Workmate to 29-year-old son

A MAN has given a Black and Decker Workmate to his son in a desperate bid to stop him being so pathetic.

All state schools should be Nandos, says Cameron

DAVID Cameron wants state schools to offer a fast-casual educational experience inspired by the traditions of Mozambique.