All the good shit in storage

ALL of Britain's best stuff is in storage, according to a new survey.

Pretentious cafés won't do full English despite having all the ingredients

ABOVE-THEMSELVES cafes are refusing to offer a fry up, even though they have all the ingredients on their pretentious menu.

Who am I to judge the Pope, says gay man

A GAY man has said that although Pope-ish acts are bad, a Pope-ish orientation is not.

Ant Day declared a national holiday

BRITAIN has a new ant-based national holiday.

Church of England 'an enormous waste of everyone's time'

THE Church of England is a huge and utter waste of the time of everyone involved, it has been confirmed.

Areas without mobile reception rebranded 'trivia mystery zones'

REGIONS with poor phone coverage are being marketed to couples that enjoy debating trivia.