SMOKERS who officially gave up for 2012 have announced a few clarifications regards what 'giving up' actually means.
RACE has been named as today's topic about which Britain will talk angry, ill-informed shit.
MOST of Britain could cheerfully go on a three-day session after just one day back at work, it has emerged.
THE Daily Mail has today launched a five year plan to prevent exactly as much racism as it creates.
WOMEN MPs who get all dolled-up and pose for men's magazines are not taken seriously, experts have claimed.
PRINCE Philip has begun a damage limitation exercise after human remains were discovered at Sandringham.
THE mysterious individual who single-handedly sustained the market for pewter dragon statuettes is being held at a secure laboratory.
POLICE are appealing for witnesses after a conga line collision resulted in the deaths of 37 people during a retirement party.