A DISTRESSED child in a park is probably just pretending for some YouTube clip about whether people are compassionate.
WALES has begged Scotland not to leave it trapped in the UK with those two other mad bastards.
THE 7,500 fake marriages conducted in the UK are happier and more likely to last than genuine marriages, according to inspectors.
YOU and everyone you know is Adolf Hitler, it has been confirmed.
HEDGEHOGS are the fashion industry's latest animal muse.
BRITAIN'S capitalist overlords are secretly orchestrating the trend for nutritious low-cost recipes.
THE Daily Mail has sacked long-time editor Paul Dacre and replaced him with the philosopher Alain de Botton.
THE general woefulness of bus travel has remained unchanged by the recent extreme weather.