A MASSIVELY important thing was decided yesterday while Gmail users were offline.
DETECTIVES investigating the Jimmy Savile scandal have promised a cliffhanger arrest on Christmas Eve.
PARENTS who experienced rave culture are increasingly concerned about their children's low intake of Class A drugs.
AS Britain continues to freeze, there have been sightings of a man walking around in shorts.
CANNABIS should be legalised for Tories who are frightened of the gayness, MPs have claimed.
STARGAZER Patrick Moore will be remembered an astrologer, because a lot of people are not very bright.
BRITAIN is unsuitable for human life, the UN has declared.