Rail companies declare war on Christmas passengers

BRITAIN’S rail companies have declared all out war on anyone travelling at Christmas.

Genius sees straight through commercialisation of Christmas

A VISIONARY who has seen through all the sentimental dressing to the cold, capitalist heart of Christmas is telling everyone to wake up.

Britain prepares to ignore nuts

BRITONS are gearing up to paying no attention whatsoever to large bowls of nuts.

Graduate repossessed by Student Loans Company

BAILIFFS have repossessed a graduate on the grounds that he will never earn enough to repay his student loan, it has emerged.

Secret Santa present chillingly well-chosen

A SECRET Santa gift has terrified the recipient by being so thoughtfully chosen it suggests someone in the office knows the real her.

Homeworker discovers useful internet article about procrastination

A WOMAN who works from home has found a great article on the internet about how to stop procrastinating.

Family to get ex-girlfriend’s presents

A RECENTLY-DUMPED man plans to save money by giving his ex-girlfriend's gifts to family members.

Complaining bastard seeks flaw in eBay purchase

A SERIAL complainer is hoping to find something wrong with a second-hand item purchased from the internet.