Society

Nu-Lads and hipsters in Brighton beach battle

A SEASIDE town is being plagued by confrontations between rival youth fashion tribes.

LinkedIn confirms it is never going to stop sending you emails

LINKEDIN has unveiled plans to keep sending you wheedling, passive-aggressive emails you never asked for

Tools secretly are left in van overnight

WORKMEN throughout the UK are covertly leaving tools in their vans overnight despite baldly stating the complete opposite.

Twitter bios must go 'serious, serious, wacky'

ALL Twitter bios must contain two serious pieces of information followed by a third zany one.

Northern Lights ‘are Daily Mail reader LSD’

THE Aurora Borealis is the closest thing Daily Mail readers will ever have to a psychedelic experience, they have confirmed.

Britain to get lessons in things you obviously shouldn’t do

BRITONS are to receive coaching in how not to do things that are clearly wrong.

Britain celebrates St Hangover's Day

BRITAIN is marking St Hangover's Day with shivering bouts of vomiting.

Discussion thread composed entirely of f**kwits

AN online discussion thread does not contain a single person who knows what they are talking about.