Society

Boring conformity now a massive achievement

LEADING a dull suburban life with a mortgage and two children is now a phenomenal achievement, everyone has agreed.

Narcissistic Britons worried they might not be on police photo database

MILLIONS of self-absorbed UK residents are concerned that their photos may not be included in a police database.

Family knows maximum amount it would spend to keep dog alive

A FAMILY has decided that if their dog ever needed veterinary treatment costing over £1000 they would not bother.

Last Celebrations chocolate to be preserved

HOUSEHOLDS across the country are observing the annual Finishing Of The Celebrations Tub ceremony. 

Cat returns from dead in heartwarming spine-chilling story

A CAT has clawed its way out of a shallow grave and returned home to terrify its delighted owner.

Crowdfunding site launched for people who just want some recreational drugs

A NEW crowdfunding website has been launched to help people who want free money for drugs.

Spammer’s heart just not in it anymore

AN idealistic young spammer has become increasingly disillusioned with his profession.

School overrated

GOING to school is largely a waste of time, according to experts.