Take the jobseekers’ psychometric test

THE DWP's psychometric test uses advanced science to work out why you've utterly failed as a human.

Steampunk weapons useless against fists

PRETEND ‘Steampunk’ weapons are less effective than fists, a fight has revealed.

Fury as allotment gardeners discover vegetables can be bought in shops

PEOPLE with allotments are reeling from the news that vegetables can be bought with cash.

Grandchildren threaten to withdraw their love

GRANCHILDREN have threatened to withhold their affection if elderly benefits are handed back to Iain Duncan Smith.

'Drinksitting' to become a legitimate weekend activity

SITTING in front of the television getting arseholed is to be considered a 'proper' weekend pursuit.

Britain's potholes now a tourist attraction

THE impressive holes in Britain's road have become a draw for foreign tourists.

UK violence falls below acceptable levels

BRITAIN is in danger of going soft, experts have warned.