PUPILS at Catholic schools are being encouraged to sign a petition against being a total bumpilot.
BRITAIN is still paying attention to a grown man who earns a living writing about restaurants and television.
THE Audi has been voted the UK's top car to have six inches from your rear bumper in the outside lane of the motorway.
THE 2012 Olympics have been declared a resounding success as the first busload of undesirables was banished from East London.
POLITICIANS have called for tough curbs on the internet pornography that is distracting them from running the country.
ANGRY Friday night vegetarians ran amok in a branch of McDonalds when it failed to offer adequate meat-free and vegan menu choices.
TEENAGE Twitter users believe that the events of September 11, as
portrayed in movies World Trade Center and United 93, were fictional, it
URBAN gun culture is officially over after some red trouser-type dickhead waved a fake pistol around.