Society

We’re good thanks, England tells EDL

ENGLAND has told the English Defence League that they can stop trying to defend it now.

Kick in the bollocks ‘not always a kick in the bollocks’

KICKING someone in the bollocks is not always the same as kicking them in the bollocks, experts have claimed.

Twitter not allowed to be completely full of shit

SOME of the things that appear on Twitter have to be vaguely accurate, the High Court has ruled.

Men ordered to be ashamed of their bodies

BRITISH men must attend a series of self-hate seminars to increase their body neuroses.

Men in balaclavas offer soothing prospect of war

MEN wearing balaclavas have been making a dreadful situation better.

Britain to be physically removed from Europe

BRITAIN is to be detached from the Earth's crust and moved away from Europe.

Motorists and cyclists unite against pedestrians

CAR and bike owners have agreed that they hate people who travel on foot.