England to be entirely covered in decking by 2015

RELAXED planning laws mean that the entire surface area of the UK will become decking, it has been claimed.

Crap parent incredibly worried about MMR jab

A USELESS parent is uncharacteristically worried about whether the MMR jab is safe.

The Mash Guide to the Final Journey

1) Baroness Thatcher's coffin leaves Westminster and is taken up Whitehall to Downing Street where it will be removed from the hearse and dropped on Geoffrey Howe.

'£4.80 windfall ruined my life'

MINIMUM wage worker Tom Logan believes the extra £4.80 he earned yesterday nearly ended up destroying him.

Middle class man convinced builders like him

A MIDDLE-CLASS man thinks he has a rapport with the people building his extension.

Huge rise in feeling like shit

MOST of the UK population feels like shit, it has emerged.

Thatcher tribute cuts unveiled

THE government has cut benefits to 80s levels in tribute to Baroness Thatcher.