THE royal family must embrace the 'fantasy saga' aspect of its nature, it has been claimed.
GREAT Western Trains is to replace the quiet carriage with a new compartment where customers are asked to be just a fraction less fucking irritating than they would otherwise be.
PRISONERS are unanimously going to vote Conservative, it has emerged.
A SEMI-MYTHICAL group of troglodyte ravers has been discovered by workmen at Manchester's legendary Hacienda.
BRITAIN will be a prehistoric barter economy within two years, the Bank of England has predicted.
TIBET'S spiritual leader has delivered an extraordinary rant about the things that do his head in.
THE second-hand value of a beginner-level ukulele has plummeted to £1.12 after thousands simultaneously lost interest in the stringed instrument.
THE wait at Heathrow's border control is now so long that many become full UK citizens while queueing.