Ofcom to clamp down on cowboy graffiti artists

INDEPENDENT regulator Ofcom has outlined plans to protect the public from the work of cowboy graffiti artists after record complaints about the standard of British vandalism.

Councils organising interpretive dance workshops for rats

LOCAL councils are hoping to tackle rat problems with a series of workshops inviting them to explore their ratness through physical movement.

Closing bad universities could exclude people who did nothing at school

PATHETIC universities may be allowed to close, threatening the academic careers of people who should never have been there anyway.

System working like a charm as OAPs toss food-heat coin

BRITAIN'S political and economic systems were working like clockwork last night as old people in the world's fifth richest country cheerfully tossed their food-heat coins.

'Slutwalk' inadvertently doubles as male deodorant advert

A MARCH by provocatively-dressed women has been used as a backdrop by an opportunistic deodorant film crew, it has emerged.

Lads' mags lack the integrity of 'Knave', says Cameron

MODERN magazines like Nuts lack the unpretentious honesty of Razzle and Knave, according to the prime minister.

Books making children gay

READING is turning young people into homosexuals, it emerged last night.

People reading drug report double check they are not on drugs

A NEW high-level report on drug policy makes so much sense that people reading it have had to double check they are not off their tits.