Two-day hangover 'is passage to manhood'

A 23-YEAR-OLD has finally become a man after having his first multi-day hangover.

Man not taking any shit from people who weren’t planning to give him any

A MAN will not ‘take any shit’ from people and organisations that do not appear to bear him any ill will, it has emerged.

Police hunt whoever is putting infuriatingly small amounts of food back in fridge

POLICE are searching for whoever puts things like half a sausage back into the fridge.

Going into HMV 'like an episode of Goodnight Sweetheart' 

A MAN who walked into HMV instantly felt like he was transported back to a simpler time, it has emerged.

'Can we close the blinds?' asks incredibly annoying colleague

AN annoying twat in an office has asked if the blinds can be closed because he cannot see his screen.

Scouts f**king up your shopping for money

SCOUTS are at supermarket tills asking for a charity donation to crush your groceries.

Brexiters definitely not worried about losing second referendum

BREXITERS’ passionate opposition to a second referendum is definitely not because of fear they would lose, they have confirmed.

I’m more of a glass half-full person, says Brexiter

A BREXITER has confirmed that he is one of those people who always looks on the sunny side.