Society

Dolphins spoiling for a fight

DOLPHINS are vicious, brutal thugs spoiling for a fight with humanity, it has emerged.

Pompous arse taking tough stance on Greece

COMPLETE nobody Roy Hobbs is demanding tough action be taken against Greece.

Attractive people enjoying not having to be funny

ATTRACTIVE people thoroughly enjoy not having to be funny or interesting, they have revealed.

Protein World poster ‘just a standard piece-of-shit advert’

THE controversial Protein World poster is no more tawdry, exploitative and depressing than the rest of advertising, according to industry watchdogs.

Guardian produces French dictionary with masculine nouns removed

THE Guardian has created a French dictionary that contains only feminine words.

Everybody wondering if it's okay to change profile back now

NO-ONE wants to be the first to remove the Pride rainbow from their Facebook picture, it has emerged.

Workers lunching outdoors decide to turn feral

OFFICE workers eating their sandwiches in the park are increasingly never going back to work or society.

Other cans think San Pellegrino is an arsehole

ALL other canned drinks regard San Pellegrino as a smug prick with a stupid foil hat, it has emerged.