Society

Everyone else's life better than yours

YOUR life really is not as good as that of any other human, experts have confirmed.

CofE calls for Christian meat packaging to show Jesus eating a sausage

THE row over faith-based meat has escalated with Anglicans demanding that packaging shows an image of Jesus eating a large sausage.

UK best at giving university places to absolutely anyone

THE UK is the best country in Europe for awarding a university place to anybody who would like one.

All training to be done as a montage

THE government has announced a switch to montage-based training like in Rocky and The Karate Kid.

Perhaps your concern could extend to not eating us, say chickens

CHICKENS have thanked consumers for their concern over methods of slaughter and asked if that goodwill could be extended to just leaving them alone.

Drug laws only work on the over-30s

BRITAIN'S drug laws only work against 35-year-olds who have been ground down by years of inconvenience, it has been claimed.

Dreadlocked caucasians demand to face more discrimination

WHITE people with dreadlocks are not facing as much discrimination as they would ideally like, it has emerged.

Britain falling for savoury popcorn con

THE UK is the latest target of international con-artists attempting to sell popcorn that tastes of chilli and pepper.