Man steeling himself for two hours of helping with cooking

A FATHER-OF-TWO is psyching himself up to assist with the cooking on Christmas Day.

All man wants for Christmas is Brexit

A MAN has explained to family and friends that he does not want a lot for Christmas, and leaving the EU is all he needs.

Man embarks on completely bizarre Christmas supermarket shop

A MAN has spent several hundred pounds on weird food that he would never consider buying during the rest of the year.

Relatives planning strange behaviour for Christmas

BRITAIN’S relatives are preparing a range of strange and annoying behaviours for their Christmas visits, they have revealed.

Woman hopes post condemning populism gets a lot of likes

A WOMAN hopes her Facebook post about how populism is bad gets loads of likes.

Only thing family knows about man is that he likes chutney

A MAN  has managed to share so little of himself that all relatives know is that he likes chutney.

2016 best year of my life, says f**king idiot

A MORON has hailed 2016 as the year in which everything looked rosy for the future and things went just great overall.

People who are already off work having massive orgy this afternoon

PEOPLE whose Christmas break has already begun are having a massive orgy today while you are at work.