Society

Overweight dancer mercilessly patronised

38-year-old Norman Steele has been targeted by patronising supportive remarks for being a larger dancer.

Restaurant couple clearly on a voucher

A COMMON-LOOKING couple in a fancy restaurant were only there because of an internet voucher, according to fellow diners.

Slankets ‘unacceptable’

BLANKETS with arms have no place in a civilised world, it has been claimed.

Ancient demonic entity saving kids from half term boredom

PARENTS have praised Mexican demon Charlie for giving children something to do during the half term break.

Dog really pissed off with O2

LABRADOR Tom Booker wants to bite everyone at O2 after his mobile phone stopped working yesterday.

Carveries recognised as a religion

'GOING to the carvery' is now the UK’s biggest belief system.

Commitment-phobic gay man privately dismayed by Irish referendum

A GAY Irish man who can now legally wed his partner is desperate not to.

Professor bets he can turn SNP MP into a gentleman

A PROFESSOR has entered into a wager that he can make a Scottish National Party MP pass for a gentleman.