'Life' is top university, say bitter dads

THE University of Life has once again been declared the best educational establishment by bitter middle aged men.

Rich List includes ransom amounts

THIS year's Sunday Times Rich List includes guideline ransom figures for kidnapped billionaires.

Everyone else's life better than yours

YOUR life really is not as good as that of any other human, experts have confirmed.

CofE calls for Christian meat packaging to show Jesus eating a sausage

THE row over faith-based meat has escalated with Anglicans demanding that packaging shows an image of Jesus eating a large sausage.

UK best at giving university places to absolutely anyone

THE UK is the best country in Europe for awarding a university place to anybody who would like one.

All training to be done as a montage

THE government has announced a switch to montage-based training like in Rocky and The Karate Kid.

Perhaps your concern could extend to not eating us, say chickens

CHICKENS have thanked consumers for their concern over methods of slaughter and asked if that goodwill could be extended to just leaving them alone.

Drug laws only work on the over-30s

BRITAIN'S drug laws only work against 35-year-olds who have been ground down by years of inconvenience, it has been claimed.