BRITAIN is reeling under an onslaught of Pimm’s-fuelled violence and disorder due to forgetting that the summer drink is alcoholic.
TWITTER is being abandoned by users aged 16-24 in favour of the thriving and lawless Vanish Tip Exchange.
PEOPLE wearing expired festival wristbands are a limitless source of tiresome drug anecdotes, it has been claimed.
THE secret to being successful in business is posing for photographs with your arms crossed, studies have shown.
MEDIEVAL-STYLE surnames that describe a person’s job or characteristics are to be brought back, the government has announced.
TATTOO artists have been told to go back to using foreign languages by observers horrified by the trite sentiments of modern tattoos.
SOME friends in their mid-thirties have made a vague, doomed plan to have a drink.
HEROIN addict Tom Logan has reached a walking speed of 18 miles per hour while going to score.