DISFIGURED crack dealer Stephen Malley has been elected police commissioner for Gloucestershire.
ANY child that touches Pudsey bear will get a massive electric shock, it has emerged.
THE middle class would collapse into self-loathing without frozen food store Iceland to look down on, it has been claimed.
RAIL bosses have used ancient depictions of Hell as inspiration for a new tier of train service.
UNMANNED drones have described being made to feel 'different' and 'inferior' by army comrades.
THE top career for job satisfaction is being a dragonrider in the fantasy world of Nazgar, according to a survey.
CHANGES in human evolution mean that only morons will continue to thrive, it has been claimed.