After Eight genius 'forgave those who put empty envelopes back in box'

BEFORE his death, Brian Sollitt, the inventor of the After Eight, forgave people who put the empty envelopes back in the box.

School may as well start at 17 for all the difference it would make, say experts

THE official school starting age should be raised from five to 17 because we may as well, experts have claimed.

Most people not the class they think they are

MOST Britons are not part of the social class they have always claimed they are, research has revealed.

Pope gives atheists permission to think

POPE Francis has allowed atheists to use their brains independently of God.

Angels 'can only intervene in the trivial bullshit of the self-absorbed'

ANGELS exist but can only help narcissists with trivial nonsense.

Teachers to strike because children are vile

TEACHERS are to strike because children are unbearably horrible.