Child of smoker thrilled with sturdy new boots and compass

THE child of a smoker is thrilled with his sturdy new walking boots and 'military-style' compass.

Northerner terrorised London by saying hello

A NORTHERN man has left a trail of terror across London by attempting to interact socially with everyone he meets.

Love each other, say departing free plastic bags

FREE plastic bags have issued a message of solidarity and respect before going home to deep space. 

‘Road rage’ may just be ‘bastard rage’, say experts

SO-CALLED ‘road rage’ may simply be the result of being a bad-tempered bastard in any given situation.

Furious mob targets mildly annoying thing

ANGRY protesters have laid siege to a 'cereal cafe' in East London because it is quite annoying.

Torrential rain forces man to eat lunch in YO! Sushi

A SUDDEN heavy downpour left a man with no choice but to eat raw fish for lunch.

Mum sets new record for losing her shit on school run

A MOTHER has set a new British record for totally losing her shit on the morning school run.

Couple in first Corbyn-based divorce

A COUPLE is to become the first in Britain to divorce because of Jeremy Corbyn.