Magna Carta gives England back to France

HISTORIANS are studying an edition of the Magna Carta that makes England French property from June.

Think pieces ‘better than action’

WRITING 900 words about injustice for a broadsheet newspaper is more effective than getting off your arse and doing something about it, it has been claimed.

Servants' quarters counted as social housing

A LONDON development has included below-stairs maids' rooms as its quota of social housing.

Fake nice people worse than authentic bastards

PEOPLE who pretend to be nice are worse than those who are openly unpleasant, it has emerged.

Nuns to teach Tristram Hunt that he’s dirty and wrong

CATHOLIC nuns have pledged to teach Tristram Hunt that he is a dirty boy who makes Jesus angry.

Online personality quiz finds user to be gullible procrastinator

AN ONLINE personality test has proved 100 per cent accurate in predicting the woman completing it is self-obsessed and bored with her job.

ISIS handbook to be turned into Cosmo column

TIPS on how to be a female jihadi will soon appear in the pages of Cosmopolitan, the magazine has confirmed.

Millions registering to vote so they can write ‘f**kers’ on ballot paper

MILLIONS of people are registering to vote so they can scrawl obscenities across their worthless ballot paper.