Prehistoric baby names trend sees 'Trog' and Gor' make a comeback

RETRO baby names from the early 20th century have been exhausted, creating a trend for prehistoric-sounding options like Ung-Gaah.

Hot water with bag floating in it not a cup of tea

VERY hot water with a bag floating in it is not a cup of tea, it has emerged.

Factory blaze caused by stupid bloody Chinese lantern thing

A MASSIVE factory fire was caused by one of those monstrously fucking stupid Chinese lanterns, it has been confirmed.

Non-baby news events crunched into this week

JULY'S news events will all take place this week to clear media space for the Royal birth.

Happiness linked to being on MDMA

A GLOBAL study of human happiness has found that the single biggest factor is whether you are on MDMA.

Cameron fears Snapchat will be used for sex riots

DAVID Cameron has warned that a controversial messaging service could trigger a wave of violent frotting.