THE Magic Fox Vintage Smoothie Boutique Urban Forest Pop Up Chill Retreat is to be Britain's first 100 percent twat-friendly festival.
SOLDIERS are being trained to tut, sigh and then finally deliver the wrong brand of cigarettes through the sliding metal tray at 24-Hour-garages.
MALE pattern baldness sufferers have discovered news of a possible cure tucked away on page 16 of their newspapers.
THE arrival of televisions that can spy on you means Britain is now a fully-qualified dystopia.
THE new 45p tax rate is 10 percent easier to avoid than the 50p rate, experts have confirmed.
DENNIS Waterman has provoked a furious debate about exactly how shit Minder actually was.
TELEVISED entertainment is mostly for clever people and snobs, it has been claimed.
TAXPAYERS are to receive a detailed breakdown of how their money was spent that is indvidually tailored to their cretinous world view.