Friend’s new flat nice by London standards

YOUR friend’s new flat is nice, for London.

Family planning ridiculously over-supervised Halloween

A NICE family is going to ludicrous lengths to ensure Halloween is safe, healthy and educational.

We just sound depressed, insist Wolverhampton residents

PEOPLE from Wolverhampton have reassured everyone that they are perfectly happy despite their accents.

Couple pride themselves on quality of their rows

A COUPLE believe that their rows are better than other people's arguments.

Man who did Spanish GCSE will handle tapas order

A MAN who got a B in GSCE Spanish has taken charge of ordering for his date in La Tasca.

Misogynists ‘must get consent’ before speaking

MISOGYNISTS will be required to get consent before boring people with their predictable anti-women opinions, the government has announced.

Garage overestimates value of its labour by 8,000 per cent

A GARAGE is charging more than 800 times the true value of its mechanics’ time and expertise, it has emerged.

Threesome ruined by administrative oversight

A PROMISING sexual encounter between a man and two women has turned into a logistical nightmare.