Britain dares Charles to block legislation

PRINCE Charles should try blocking legislation, just to see what happens, it was claimed last night.

Michael Myers having a quiet one this Halloween

IMPLACABLE serial killer Michael Myers has announced plans to spend Halloween relaxing with friends instead of doing his usual murders.

UK's retirement plan is to wing it

BRITONS are sort of assuming they'll be able to busk it through years of declining health, it has emerged.

Anti-religious protestors occupy London Stock Exchange

A GROUP of anti-Church of England protestors has taken up residence in the London Stock Exchange, it has emerged.

Legal highs to join list of long-forgotten banned substances

THE government is to continue its successful policy of banning drugs with 'legal highs' joining other obsolete substances like heroin and ecstasy.

Thermal imaging proves capitalism doesn't work

FOOTAGE from a thermal imaging camera has proved that capitalism is not actually working.

Number of other buggers hits seven billion

EARTH'S spiraling human population will soon make it impossible to get even five minutes' peace, it has been claimed.

Pippa Middleton's arse hits new £50 note

THE design of the new £50 note will replace the first governor of the Bank of England with Pippa Middleton’s buttocks, it has been announced.