A SECRET government list of those not quite important enough to be offered an honour they would then not accept has been published.
SEVENTIES comic Bernard Manning is being woken from cryogenic sleep
after Ricky Gervais completed preparations for his return, it has
EVERYONE must place themselves at the centre of the universe immediately, it has been confirmed.
THE impending first release on the Occupy movement's record label may feature a short burst of rapping, experts have warned.
BRITAIN'S poor people have finally conceded defeat and vowed to find work first thing this morning.
THINGS that do not always work perfectly should not be advertised on the television, angry people have claimed.
THE forgotten victims of the phone hacking scandal are the millions who
would love to see John Prescott living under a bridge, it was claimed
UNDERGROUND train drivers have rejected an offer of some extra money for no reason, because they are fine.