Society

Boris Johnson set for US presidency

NEWLY-EMERGED presidential candidate Boris Johnson has surged ahead in US opinion polls, and should soon be running the world.

Oh shit, I'm Gordon Brown, says Cameron

DAVID Cameron looked into his bathroom mirror last night and saw the haunted face of Gordon Brown staring back at him.

Are you a twat?

Take the Institute for Studies test and discover whether you are a twat.

Twats 'more of a priority than badgers'

PLANS to shoot badgers have been postponed in favour of a twat cull.

Phone hacking not right-wing

HACKING a mobile phone is not the same as opposing gay marriage, it has emerged.

Society to be dismantled following Savile scandal

RUPERT Murdoch is to assume control of England in the wake of revelations about the DJ Jimmy Savile.

46% of middle class children raised by monkeys

BUSY parents are increasingly relying on primates to provide childcare, it has emerged.