GETTING an unusual object stuck in your facebone is still the best way
of starring on page eight of Metro, it has been confirmed.
BRITAIN'S teachers absolutely cannot wait to get cracking now physical force can go unrecorded in classrooms.
THE Daily Mail set up an elaborate 'sting' to expose its own bullshit about migrant workers, it has emerged.
AN adult film actor contracting HIV has prompted millions of people to
suddenly realise they know the names of a least eight porn stars.
NADINE Dorries has won her battle to fill the country with absolutely miserable people who did not want children.
THE official sound system of the Metropolitan Police has had a moderately successful first outing at the Notting Hill Carnival.
THE Guardian's Weekend Sport supplement has retained its title as the number one choice for lighting middle class barbecues.
MIGRATION figures show more Britons than ever are trapped in this godforsaken hellhole.