BRITAIN'S trade unions have called for a ban on workplace tits, claiming they are demeaning to women and could block fire exits.
TEENAGE girls who have sex before they are old enough to have a library card are a victim of their DNA, it was claimed last night.
NINE out 10 children never want to smoke cigarettes, preferring the spiralling high of hydroponically grown skunk, according to a new survey.
PEOPLE in rural areas with poor internet access are receiving their pictures of vaginas by courier pigeon.
BLAZING, expletive-filled rows, resulting in one partner sleeping on the couch are good for your health, it was claimed last night.
A CONSOLE game based on the Beatles is heralding a new wave in interactive mid-life crises for balding, insecure GQ readers, it was claimed last night.
EMPLOYERS will have to advertise jobs to idle British morons for at least a month before they can be offered overseas, it was confirmed last night.