BARONESS Warsi will today be asked to explain why some Muslim countries lock you up for having naked fun with someone you have just met.
THE government is to launch an inquiry into whether words such as 'bumtard' and 'spangler' are anti-gay.
SOMEBODY actually bought one of those stupid Segway things, it emerged last night.
A NEW crackdown on alcohol pricing suggests ministers still think you get shitfaced because of money.
THE man whose job it is to make up sex statistics has decided that modern couples are having less sex.
MOST people are managing a sumptuous eight hours sleep a night despite crippling credit card debt, it has emerged.
SCHOOLS across England are to change the name of the new baccalaureate to something like 'Bat' or 'Cat'.
POLICE hope to lure undercover officer Mark Kennedy back into a police station using a steak on the end of some thread.