Holocaust survivors rally round Church of England

HOLOCAUST survivors have backed George Carey's claim that he is like a victim of the Nazis because he does not like the gays getting married.

Average family weird

THE average British family is deeply unsettling, according to new research.

Still not okay to attack banks who steal your house

IT is still not acceptable to use force against a bank that steals your entire house, ministers have confirmed.

May pledges to bring back the slipper

HOME secretary Theresa May is to call for the restoration of the slipper as a deterrent to Britain's young dodgers, perils and minxes.

Avoiding tax is a good thing, says Jesus

JESUS has settled the argument on tax avoidance by stating, uncategorically, that it is a good thing.

Britain trapped in downward spiral of bicycle addiction

BRITAIN is in the grip of a deadly addiction to bicycles, according to new research.

Zuckerberg's older brother obsessed with board game idea

42-YEAR-OLD Brian Zuckerberg, who still lives at home, thinks he has a really good idea for a board game.

Universities praised for mediocrity

BRITAIN'S universities are adapting to the half-arsedness of the country, it has been claimed.