A GROWING number of intelligent people have been expelled from the UK for smelling weird and preferring maths to telly.
DRUID leader King Arthur Pend... John Rothwell has had his particular brand of mojimbo dismissed by the high court.
TRENDY pub toilet door signs featuring abstract depictions of gender should be banned, experts have claimed.
A RECORD number of pensioners have been granted places in care homes across Britain, amid claims the entry criteria are easier than ever.
JAZZY, a three-year-old dark brown cat, has denied starting the vicious fight which left his black-and-white neighbour Sparks needing three stitches.
IN the midst of social strife Britain's traditions endure as today the country celebrates the Great Annual Sifting of the Teenagers.
THE prime minister has unveiled a radical new concept for social change involving youngsters with neckerchiefs being helpful.
BRITAIN'S festival of righteous indignation has finally resulted in someone being jailed because of tube socks.