Office staff pretend manual worker is invisible

DESK staff at a Swindon company have studiously ignored a maintenance man.

Television binge plans ruined by good weather

MILLIONS of Britons were left unable to view their favourite American TV dramas due to fine weather over the bank holiday weekend.

People who highlight minor grammar points are amazing

THE ability to spot a minor grammar error is proof that you are amazing, it has been confirmed.

Gullible people hit compensation jackpot yet again

GULLIBLE people are to receive yet another compensation payment after taking out insultingly worthless credit card insurance.

Friday booked off by devious little shits

PEOPLE who booked Friday off work are cackling like maniacs at the success of their scheme.

Teenagers reassured that exam results count less than social class

EXAM results are less important than social factors beyond your control, teenagers have been reassured.

Guardian ordered to destroy bourgeois lifestyle articles

THE Guardian has destroyed nauseatingly middle-class articles about garden furniture and teenagers failing to get a place at Oxford.