Sad losers thrilled by new Lamborghini

THE sort of men who will never even own a car have been thrilled by the new Lamborghini Veneno.

Housing crash caused by moving house

THE number of people buying houses has been linked to what a massive ball-ache it is.

Spoiled children more likely to become your boss

OVER-INDULGED infants will grow up to employ you, it has been claimed.

Thatcher statue to be the 'anti-Lourdes'

GRANTHAM councillors say a proposed statue of Margaret Thatcher will have the power to make people feel hellish.

Facebook fuelling black market trade in personalities

GENUINELY eccentric people are selling their character traits to young social media obsessives, it has emerged.

Councils want more money to basically come and get your bins

MANY local councils are to charge more for what amounts to emptying bins, it has emerged.

‘Soft touch’ Britain to become ‘total bastard’ Britain

THE UK is going to be a total bastard to foreigners and people in general, David Cameron has announced.

Osborne reverses polarity of pound

GEORGE Osborne hopes to fix the economy by reversing the polarity of the pound.