Broadband customers to pay 'up to' 100% of their bill

FRUSTRATED broadband customers have decided to pay 'up to' all of their bill.

Citizenship test to focus on UK's utterly demented values

A NEW version of the UK citizenship test will be based on the country's warped, mentally-damaged value system, it has emerged.

I'm great apart from all the humans, says England

ENGLAND believes itself to be a nice place apart from the presence of humans, it has emerged.

Warhol prediction downgraded by 14 minutes 54 seconds

TWITTER'S 'Vine' app means everyone will now be famous for just six seconds.

HS2 to make London even bigger

A HIGH speed rail line to the north will bring a much needed economic boost to central London, say experts.

Black mass scores perfectly in feedback forms

A SATANIC ritual in Devon has received top marks in every category on attendees’ feedback forms.

Scientists discover most middle class tattoo

THE most middle class tattoo is the word 'moustache' in a speech bubble, coming out of a swallow's mouth, on the wearer's finger.