Men looking for pub toilet act like they know where it is

MEN who cannot find the pub toilet disguise the fact by striding manfully, it has emerged.

Uppity bishops expressing views on how humans should treat each other

CHURCH of England bishops have been accused of meddling in how humans interact.

'Sarf London' not representative of any accent

PEOPLE with t-shirts, tote bags or Twitter bios that say 'Sarf London' have failed to grasp how cockneys talk, it has been claimed.

Men with long hair far too into it

MEN are unable to have long hair without becoming preening narcissists, it has emerged.

Legal system to be replaced by what everyone on Twitter reckons

ALL trials are to take place on place on Twitter in order to save money.

Manchester to be completely covered in spikes

THE city of Manchester is to cover all pavements, walls and street furniture with metal spikes to stop locals getting soft.

TV dramas spark gazing revival

THE once-popular pastime of staring into the distance for minutes at a time is back in fashion thanks to Wolf Hall and Broadchurch.

Most women going on Valentine’s dates for the food

WOMEN across Britain are to endure a Valentine’s date because it is in a restaurant.