OKCupid profile clearly copied from LinkedIn

SINGLETON Tom Booker has filled in his online dating profile with information about his professional skills and employment history.

Office joker spends three hours a night running material

OFFICE joker Stephen Malley has admitted his seemingly spontaneous workplace quips are rigorously workshopped.

UK spared idiotic flag with a dragon on it

THE UK has been spared the prospect of a flag that looks like a tattoo on a cretin.

Unemployment falls as IDS opens pie shop

A FALL in unemployment may be connected to Iain Duncan Smith’s new pie shop in central London.

Could we be owned by normal people? ask cats

CATS have asked for a change in policy so they can be owned by people who are not weird.

Man not sure if Big Issue seller was being arsey

A MAN has revealed he has no idea if his usual Big Issue seller was being sarcastic with him.

Lads and feminists work together on campus sexism

BOORISH lads and militant feminists have joined forces to make sexism at university a far bigger issue than it actually is.

Charlie Bucket's grandpa charged with DLA fraud

CHARLIE Bucket's Grandpa Joe has been charged with fraudulent benefit claims dating back more than two decades.