Clarkson explodes

JEREMY Clarkson, the veteran broadcaster and denim enthusiast, has exploded at news of the proposed 80mph motorway speed limit.

A-Level students to be ranked by similarity to Brian Glover

A-LEVEL students should be judged on both their grades and their likeness to stout Yorkshire actor Brian Glover, it has been claimed.

Barbaric children's cage fight also entertaining

A CAGE fight between two eight year-old boys has been condemned as utterly unmissable.

Rioters summer school will have loads of stuff worth nicking

A SUMMER school for rioters will be full of tellys and tracksuits, Nick Clegg has pledged.

Irish travellers 'have ancient right to ignore planning laws'

IRISH travelling folk will today reaffirm their ancient, mystic right not to have planning permission for their houses.

Busy parents ask schools to beat their children

ALMOST half the parents in Britain are so busy they need schools to beat their children for them.

Coke-snorting jungle fever is the real America, says Palin

SARAH Palin last night claimed drug taking and having sex with tall muscly black men was the dream of every real American.

We were so right about Hari, say bullshit merchants

IDIOT journalist Johann Hari was last night roundly condemned by the usual bunch of self-regarding bullshitters.