BRITISH Muslim women should trade their Burkas for the jeans, blazers and incongruous hair favoured by the hosts of Top Gear, it was claimed last night.
BRITAIN'S craziest, half-blind, octogenarian heart surgeon was looking forward to returning to work last night after the government abolished retirement.
BRITAIN'S experiment with 24-hour drinking would have succeeded if the country was not filled to the brim with the worst people in the world, it was claimed last night.
THE GCSE science syllabus is to include ideological indoctrination and extremist violence, Ofsted has confirmed.
A STUNT involving a terrified parachuting donkey left children disappointed by the lack of death, it emerged last night.