NADINE Dorries has won her battle to fill the country with absolutely miserable people who did not want children.
THE official sound system of the Metropolitan Police has had a moderately successful first outing at the Notting Hill Carnival.
THE Guardian's Weekend Sport supplement has retained its title as the number one choice for lighting middle class barbecues.
MIGRATION figures show more Britons than ever are trapped in this godforsaken hellhole.
A GROWING number of intelligent people have been expelled from the UK for smelling weird and preferring maths to telly.
DRUID leader King Arthur Pend... John Rothwell has had his particular brand of mojimbo dismissed by the high court.
TRENDY pub toilet door signs featuring abstract depictions of gender should be banned, experts have claimed.
A RECORD number of pensioners have been granted places in care homes across Britain, amid claims the entry criteria are easier than ever.