I want no part in this, says sledge

A SLEDGE has distanced itself from the inevitable injuries to its rider.

Lottery price rise 'an unfair tax on the stupid'

DOUBLING the cost of a lottery ticket to £2 represents a tax on idiots, it has been claimed.

Britain told to get used to horse burgers

BRITAIN should not be too fussy about eating horses, economists have warned.

'Sex at work' actually masturbation

ALMOST all reported 'workplace sex' occurs solo, it has emerged.

High streets to be awash with semi-feral husbands

UNRULY abandoned men could become a fixture on the high street as music, technology and DVD shops collapse.

Facebook quitters rediscover traditional showing-off

THOUSANDS are leaving Facebook because they want to get back into face-to-face bragging, it has emerged.

Britain urged to freak out

WEATHER forecasters have issued an exclamation mark in a triangle, urging Britons to freak out.