Child wondering exactly when his father is going to grow up

A CHILD has expressed genuine interest in when his father is likely to start acting like a proper adult.

New Facebook feature tells users when friends are deliberately ignoring them

FACEBOOK users will soon be able to tell when people are pretending not to have seen their posts.

GCHQ opens to public

GCHQ has opened its headquarters and outstanding collection of confidential data to the public for the first time.

Lanyard-wearers believe it protects them from witches

PEOPLE who insist on wearing ID lanyards outside the office believe they offer protection from evil, it has emerged.

'Cool' guy turns out to be a Christian

EVERYONE is incredibly surprised to discover a 'quite cool' 33-year-old man is a Christian.

Friend’s new flat nice by London standards

YOUR friend’s new flat is nice, for London.

Family planning ridiculously over-supervised Halloween

A NICE family is going to ludicrous lengths to ensure Halloween is safe, healthy and educational.

We just sound depressed, insist Wolverhampton residents

PEOPLE from Wolverhampton have reassured everyone that they are perfectly happy despite their accents.