MILLIONS of workers will be trapped at home until Monday, because of solar activity.
'UNIVERSITY' graduates are increasingly having to take unskilled jobs commensurate with their lack of ability.
THE child benefit cap is to be rethought amid warnings over the impact on middle-class stay-at-home afternoon-drinking mothers.
BRITAIN'S Catholics have been urged to defend the institution of marriage by campaigning against gay divorce.
BRITAIN'S poor numeracy is the fault of maths for being so hard, experts have claimed.
SUN astrologer Mystic Meg was given use of a CVT6000 police water cannon in 2007, it has emerged.
THOUSANDS of men left for work at 5am this morning to avoid being proposed at.
PEOPLE across Britain have applauded the forced removal of smelly hippies who believe exactly the same things as they do.