Things so shit that Christmas seems almost appealing

THE tidal wave of woe sweeping the UK is such that ordinary, sane adults are actually quite looking forward to Christmas.

Outrage over reaction to Clarkson reaction reactions

BRITAIN was trapped in a 'death spiral' of infinite complaints last night.

Alastair Campbell 'is a tabloid newspaper'

ALASTAIR Campbell is exactly the same as a tabloid newspaper, experts have confirmed.

Strikers told to be home in time for Newsround

BRITAIN'S public sector workers have been allowed out on strike today as long as they are home before it gets too dark.

Loads of people like totally agree wivat pissed bird on the tram

THAT pissed bird on that video, right, was like totally spot on, wun't she, it was confirmed last night.

TV advert shows Santa kicked to death by reindeer

FATHER Christmas is dead because of massive skull damage inflicted by hooves, according to a new television commercial aimed at children.

Report condemned for not calling UK women 'jolliest in Europe'

A REPORT into obesity has been condemned as 'incredibly rude' after calling British women fat.

Real cost of public sector workers' strike is having to speak to them

THE psychological cost of being forced to verbally interact with striking council workers far outweighs any financial loss, experts have claimed.