Society

'I can't come to work because of the solar flare'

MILLIONS of workers will be trapped at home until Monday, because of solar activity.

Graduates forced to take jobs that match their skills

'UNIVERSITY' graduates are increasingly having to take unskilled jobs commensurate with their lack of ability.

Capping child benefit 'will lead to angry, sober middle-class mothers'

THE child benefit cap is to be rethought amid warnings over the impact on middle-class stay-at-home afternoon-drinking mothers.

Catholics urged to oppose gay divorce

BRITAIN'S Catholics have been urged to defend the institution of marriage by campaigning against gay divorce.

Maths impossible

BRITAIN'S poor numeracy is the fault of maths for being so hard, experts have claimed.

Met loaned Mystic Meg a water cannon

SUN astrologer Mystic Meg was given use of a CVT6000 police water cannon in 2007, it has emerged.

Men in hiding

THOUSANDS of men left for work at 5am this morning to avoid being proposed at.

Millions back removal of dirty hippies with whom they are in complete agreement

PEOPLE across Britain have applauded the forced removal of smelly hippies who believe exactly the same things as they do.