Page 3 not evil enough, says Murdoch

PAGE 3 is not doing enough to mess with people's heads, according to Rupert Murdoch.

Britain demands non-oral coffee

COFFEE that can be injected, snorted or put up your arse will soon be available on the high street.

Adults to be reclassified as children

MOST adults are to be reclassified as children due to their total lack of financial or emotional independence.

Dogs condemn microchipping as 'Orwellian'

MANDATORY microchipping is a serious erosion of civil liberties, according to dogs.

Gay couples win right to quote 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin'

BRITAIN'S gay couples have taken another step towards being able to quote that bit from Captain Corelli's Mandolin about volcanoes.

Secret of successful relationship is getting pissed together

COUPLES who share regular marathon drinking sessions are more likely to stay together, it has been claimed.

Richard III to pick up where he left off

THE skeleton of Richard III has vowed to re-boot the Wars of the Roses and slaughter his rivals to the throne.

Prisoners freed from London Dungeon

FORMER inmates of Britain's toughest prison, the London Dungeon, have described being kept in deliberately horror-themed conditions.