Society

Starbucks staff allowed to draw erections on cups

BARISTAS at Starbucks are permitted to draw erect penises on attractive customers’ cups, it has emerged.

Central Line trains get stuck in fifth circle of Hell

THERE have been severe delays to London Underground’s Central Line because of difficulty crossing the swampy waters of the river Styx.

Man fears completion of DIY project

HOMEOWNER Julian Cook fears his life will become meaningless upon the completion of a six-year DIY project to create a guest bedroom.

Open plan restaurants ‘not delivering enough chef carnage’

CHEFS working in open plan kitchens should have more amusing painful mishaps, according to restaurant customers.

Pink hair people launch their manifesto

PEOPLE with pink hair have issued a document explaining who they are and what they want.

Syria-bound family just really hated Stoke

MEMBERS of a British family headed for Syria have confirmed they were just sick of the Midlands.

Key to relationships is dumping the other person first

RELATIONSHIPS are about dumping your partner before they can dump you, it has been claimed.

Local newsagent has spectacular amount of pornography

A LOCAL newsagent has an astounding array of pornographic magazines, it has emerged.