‘No deal’ Brexit plan suspiciously similar to Middle Ages

GOVERNMENT plans for leaving the EU without a trade deal seem to involve living in a 14th century agrarian society, experts have noted.

Parking car for two days more expensive than flying 600 miles through the air

THE cost of keeping a car stationary in a single spot for 48 hours apparently exceeds the cost of flying across the sea and back, it has emerged. 

Women are so moody, says man who tells them to smile all the time

A MAN who constantly tells women to smile cannot work out why they are all so moody.

Bride's pre-wedding nightmare proves 100 percent accurate

A BRIDE’S pre-wedding nightmare where everything went wrong on her big day turned out to be spot on, it has been confirmed.

The Daily Mash guide to beating student debt

Remember, you don’t have to live on campus. If rent is sky-high near your London university, you can always find a much more affordable place in the Welsh valleys and commute in.

Child’s birthday party is big ‘f**k you’ to other mums

A DELIGHTFUL birthday party enjoyed by a child and his friends totally pissed on all the other kids’ shitty parties, a mother believes.

Last bit of sausage forced to watch as rest of breakfast eaten before him

THE last bit of a sausage has been forced to watch his fellow breakfast ingredients being devoured in front of him.

Getting ready to go out much more fun than going out

GETTING ready for a night out is infinitely more fun than going out, scientists have confirmed.