Society

Smug baby post followed by revolting arse-wiping

A WOMAN posted a smug Facebook status update about her baby and then had to clean up its liquid shit, it has emerged.

Last option to fix man’s tattoos is colouring him in completely

A MAN has so many unsightly tattoos that the best option is to colour all of him in with blue-grey ink, a tattoo artist has decided.

Low-paid workers to get speedboat tax relief

GEORGE Osborne will unveil a Budget tax incentive so low-paid workers can buy a speedboat.

Moving to London not compulsory

MOVING to one of the world’s most expensive cities is not something you have to do, it has emerged.

Old hatchbacks better than supercars, say boy racers

BOY racers have confirmed that they drive fairly old hatchbacks because they prefer them to supercars.

People who say ‘If you don’t know me don’t judge me’ all dreadful

BELIEF in popular slogans about not being judgemental is a defining characteristic of arseholes, it has been claimed.

Archbishop of Canterbury in racist bus rant

A MAN wearing the robes and mitre of the Archbishop of Canterbury has been filmed on a bus ranting about migrants.

New cafe opens for men trapped in ‘Friend Zone’

TRAGICALLY deluded men will be able to nurture their crush in a new Friend Zone cafe.