KITTENS are at a point of maximum cuteness beyond which they will no longer be a mental balm, experts have warned.
THE world's most esteemed eating places are almost entirely populated by dicks.
AN elderly grower of prize-winning giant vegetables has admitted wanting to see smaller vegetables destroyed.
A LONDON cafe has been accused of having chicken kievs with chips on its specials board since Sunday.
STRICT new mortgage rules will mean applicants should not turn up to their bank or building society with a three-litre box of wine.
A PERSON with no power should no longer be the symbolic head of an organisation that does not matter, according to someone who made up his own job.
A SHROPSHIRE cattery has apologised to customers for not realising they wanted their cats back still breathing.
CHURCH halls and community centres are to offer emergency alcohol supplies to those unable to afford it themselves.