Society

Bubble tea literally the spawn of the devil

BUBBLE tea containing mysterious ‘chewy pearls’ is the actual product of Lucifer’s evil loins, it has been confirmed.

Kids interchangeable

MOST parents would not notice if their kids were swapped for some other kids, it has emerged.

Getting thrown off plane ‘worth it to avoid stag weekend’

BEING imprisoned and heavily fined is better than going on a stag weekend, it has been claimed.

Happiness peaks at 70 ‘when you stop giving a shit’

PEOPLE become happiest aged 70 when other people's opinions cease to matter, it has emerged.

Wetherspoon Sunday roast was family’s last shred of respectability

A FAMILY has gone feral after learning that Wetherspoon pubs will no longer serve roast dinners.

Bacon works on Muslims like garlic on vampires, claims racist

A RACIST believes pork products can cause Muslims to burn up and crumble into dust.

Woman really regretting hat

A YOUNG woman on a night out with friends has admitted she should not have worn a hat.

Vegetarian burnt at stake in steak house

A VEGETARIAN has been burnt at the stake in a steak house before being served up to meat hungry customers.