Real cost of public sector workers’ strike is having to speak to them

THE psychological cost of being forced to verbally interact with striking council workers far outweighs any financial loss, experts have claimed.

Meanwhile, the last man in Britain actually making things will carry on as normal

As thousands of public sector types prepare to take to the streets, people with real jobs are making contingency arrangements to avoid listening to a social worker harangue them about pensions.

Carlisle factory worker Wayne Hayes said: “Ordinarily they’re safely contained inside their offices, drinking tea and posting peevish comments on the Guardian website.”

“But my trip to work takes me right past a housing office and I know one of the strikers is going to corner me and try to compare themselves with the demonstrators in Egypt.

He added: “God knows how drunk I’m going to have to get to obscure the irritation but it’ll probably mean I have to take a couple of days off work with a hangover, thus costing me the moral high ground.”

Businesses also fear that if public sector workers’ demands aren’t met, they may look for jobs in the private sector, costing billions in incompetence-related mistakes.

Employment lawyers are now frantically searching the Human Rights Act to see if it’s legal to burn the CV of anyone who’s ever been to an encounter group, or been paid to raise awareness of anything.

Julian Cook, chief economist at Donnelly-McPartlin said: “Like buying a child a PS3, agreeing to pension demands will be an expensive but effective way of ensuring council workers won’t get under anybody’s feet for a while.”

“You know deep in your heart that the little devils don’t deserve it, but you just want to avoid a full-blown screamy tantrum.”