Royal baby 98th on list of things Britons are looking forward to

18-07-13

THE royal baby is ranked just below ‘a packet of beef crisps’ on a list of things people are anticipating.

Crisps are actually relevant

Crisps are actually relevant

Researchers from the Institute for Studies asked thousands of Britons what they were looking forward to.

Predictably, ‘an alcoholic drink’ came in top while the as-yet-unnamed royal baby ranked 98th, just after beef crisps.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Beef is the least popular crisp flavour, partly because of how beef crisps dry your mouth out.

“If you consider the monotony of most people’s lives, and that ‘going to the toilet’ was the 8th most eagerly-awaited thing, it really puts this whole baby thing in perspective.”

28-year-old Nikki Hollis said: “All babies are basically the same, some are exceptionally ugly but mostly it’s only the hair that’s different.

“It’s not like it’s going to emerge pre-loaded with lots of interesting thoughts and opinions, or even any funny placenta-based anecdotes.

“By comparison, crisps are highly diverse and when you stick your hand in the bag you never know if you’re going to get a big one, a small one or an overcooked one.”

48-year-old Roy Hobbs said: “Has it been born yet? I’ve honestly not watched the news for a couple of days.

“I suppose I would have heard about it.”

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