Scientists identify ‘photo or tweet’ reflex

THE instinctive human response to danger is now to take a photo or tweet about it, it has emerged.

'I can smell his meaty breath'

The Institute for Studies found our fight/flight reaction to threat has been replaced by a desire to advertise the predicament to strangers on the internet.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “People are increasingly sending tweets like ‘House on fire. NE1 got any advice? Thnx.’

“When a zookeeper at London Zoo was attacked by a bear recently, onlookers did not raise the alarm but simply took pictures and tweeted about it until he was dead, at which point they moved on to a monkey eating a Cornetto.

“What’s disturbing is that one of the tweeters was the zookeeper himself, who could be seen typing on his iPhone with his nose, due to his right arm having been ripped off.

“I can only conclude that we are becoming a race of technological sociopaths.”

Builder Tom Logan said: “While filming some paramedics trying to resuscitate a guy who’d collapsed in the street, I started to doubt my actions. Then I realised I should have spent a bit more and got a Nokia 808, because the picture quality is far superior.”

Anthropologist Mary Fisher said: “One of the earliest cave paintings shows Neanderthals being eaten by a sabre-toothed tiger while other members of the tribe watch from a nearby tree.

“The scene is accompanied by primitive lettering thought to spell ‘LOL’.”