Teenagers at isolated camp on Friday 13th dutifully prepare to be murdered

13-10-17

A GROUP of teens staying at an isolated location have realised it is Friday October 13th and are resigned to their inevitable murders.

The teenagers, who were planning to party for two days at their misty camp deep in Snowdonia, only realised what day it was on arriving and have described their looming slaughter as ‘a real bummer’.

17-year-old Eleanor Shaw said: “Aw man. Murdered by a maniac with a grudge and a mask. And I was really looking forward to this weekend.

“I should have realised when there was no phone reception that someone was hiding in the woods to pick us off one by one in various gruesome ways, but I was all like ‘Whoo! Let’s skinnydip!’

“I suppose we do get to experiment with booze and sex for a bit first, but still it’ll cast a shadow over the whole thing. Plus I know he’ll kill me first, because I’ve got boobs.

“Bloody Friday the 13th. Which one is that? Him with the mask, or that one with knives for fingers?”

Shaw added: “Wait, why won’t Simon put his GoPro down? Seriously, is this one of those cheap-ass ‘found footage’ ones?

“Bollocks to this. I’m going home.”

  • Share: