Tube strike backfires as commuters steal train keys and drive themselves



THE London tube strike ended abruptly last night after commuters stormed trains and instantly mastered the controls.

The latest walk-out was prompted by concerns over the withdrawal of Quavers from London Underground canteen vending machines.

But the action backfired when a group of frustrated would-be travellers stole keys and entered train cabs to discover that tube driving mainly involves pressing a button.

Civilian hijacker, Martin Bishop, said: “When we got in the cab we discovered there was just one button. A big, red button like a clown’s nose.

“You press it once to stop, once to go. And the train itself is on rails, so you don’t have to worry about steering.

“I thought to myself, ‘I can probably handle this’.”

He added: “Basically, working a train is not that hard and if I was getting fifty grand a year to do it I’d probably keep my head down, perhaps even do cockney-style sing-a-longs over the PA to keep everyone sweet.

“In Paris they don’t even have human drivers, it’s all automatic and inside the cabs there’s just a baguette with a cap stuck on it.”

Meanwhile, other angry civilians broke into ticket offices and immediately began operating them in a friendly and polite manner.

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