Two die in battle for final plug socket in Caffe Nero

07-09-17

TWO laptop users have died in a brawl over the only remaining power source in a coffee shop.

Eyewitness Wayne Hayes said: “There was only one plug socket left in the Caffe Nero because a group of Spanish school kids were all charging their iPhones.

“Most freelance computer workers can barely manage eye contact, let alone combat. Nobody would have expected that, within minutes, they would literally both dead on the floor.”

Barista Nikki Hollis said: “They’d both invested in a coffee so they didn’t feel so guilty about spending five hours refreshing their emails.

“This was about more than using the plug socket. This was about them getting their money’s worth. £2.80 was at stake.”

Brookes described: “One just proper went for it, bashing his rival’s lights in with a thick, 2007 15” MacBook Pro. The weaker freelancer only had a one of those MacBook airs, which just crumbled to pieces on impact.

“Then they wrestled each other to the ground to the bitter end. To be honest, I think they were both enjoying the rare physical contact a little bit.”

By the time the police had arrived on the scene, a third party had already stepped over the bodies to plug in an iPhone 6.

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