Tyneside Council Opens £5m Cock Park

18-08-08

TYNEMOUTH council last night unveiled a new £5m park in its bid to become the European capital of giant, cock-based graffiti. 

One of the bigger cock drawings on Tyneside

The park features a three-metre high wall running for a full kilometre along the banks of the river Tyne and is already being hailed as the Berlin Wall of cock drawing.

It will be the biggest cock park in Britain, dwarfing the nearby Whitley Bay facility which opened this spring and currently features the country’s largest drawing of a cock.

A council spokesman said: "Give a male human a pen, a pencil or a can of spray paint and within seconds he will be drawing a picture of a cock, and maybe a pair of balls.

"We wasted a lot of money building skateparks that within hours of opening would be covered in elaborate cock pictures.

"It was obvious that what these children really needed was a dedicated cock park."

He added: "As well as providing a huge blank canvas for cock pictures, we will be offering a foundation level two certificate in drawing a cock with globules of spurting ejaculate."

The new facility will be opened by the lady mayoress of Tynemouth, who will inaugurate the wall with her textbook profile of a fully engorded, circumcised penis.

Local youth Kyle Stephenson, 12, said he would use the new park everyday adding: "I like to draw big, fat cocks with very hairy balls."

 

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