Universities May Be Forced To Cut Media Studies And Hospitality Management
BUDGET cuts will mean Britain's universities will no longer be able to teach young people how to read newspapers and smile at tourists, it was claimed last night.
Sarah has a doctorate in keyboard management
University leaders have warned that unless the proposed cuts are reversed Britain could soon have the worst trained public relations executives in the developed world.
Dr Julian Cook, vice chancellor of the University of Didcot, said: "In recent years we have been able to propel Britain to the top of the PR executive league table to the extent that everything in this country is essentially some form of public relations exercise.
"If we cut back now then we will deny an entire generation their dream of trying to mislead a journalist who has spent six long, hard years at university learning how to switch on a tape recorder."
Dr Cook, who has a Phd in the films of Chevy Chase, from Caddyshack to Goose on the Loose, warned that many of Britain's leading higher education institutions could be forced to teach science.
He added: "And I would like Lord Mandelson to explain how we're supposed to take less than three years to train hospitality workers to smile, carry things and not be a sullen, belligerent, moronic pain in the arse from the very second you check in.
"People are not born with a natural ability to smile and perform really simple tasks in exchange for money. It takes tens of thousands of pounds and a huge amount of public relations.
"Unless we maintain our current levels of investment, Didcot University's motto of 'Your Tomorrow Future Today Now' will soon start to sound hollow and meaningless."
