TWITTER’S ‘Vine’ app means everyone will now be famous for just six seconds.
The software allows users to demonstrate the contents of their brains in a six second loop, allowing most people enough time to play their clip twice.
Twitterologist Roy Hobbs said: “Everyone will now have their own moving epitaph, the majority of them with their gristle hanging out.
“So when the Earth finally discovers the vaccine for humanity, at least everyone will have been famous for the time to takes to say ‘hi, my name is Emma and I think homeopathy really works’.”
Hobbs added: “I did wonder what Andy Warhol would have made of this, but then I remembered that he was just some arse who coloured-in a few photographs.”
The rapid deflation of fame has continued since the middle ages when the global population was 250 million and everybody was famous in their village for an entire day before being set on fire.
The Vine app was named after The Vines who were vaguely recognisable for six seconds in 2002 and was launched with a clip of the group outside a Sydney bus station, pleading for spare change.
Twitter has now purchased a 27 acre data-centre to house the millions of clips of pets, ‘shout outs’ and angry, foul-mouthed masturbation that will summarise the existence of most living humans.
