White supremacists ‘commemorate the past’ by living with their parents

15-08-17

WHITE supremacists are ‘commemorating the past’ by refusing to leave their parents’ basements.

Jake O’Brien, who describes himself as ‘alt-right’ said: “To move out of my parents’ place would just be rewriting history.

“There’s no denying that I lived here as a child, and to leave would basically be suggesting I was never here. It’s the same reason I still play Dungeons and Dragons and wet the bed.

“I do it to honour the brave man and woman who raised me.”

Jake’s father, Don O’Brien, said: “Sure it’d be nice if Jake moved out and got his own place, but he won’t let us change anything about his childhood room, out of ‘respect’.

“Once I floated the idea of making his bedroom into a home office, and he staged a massive protest. Took all the tiki torches from the yard. Now we have our barbeques in the dark.”

Jake’s mother, Maureen O’Brien, said: “My Jake isn’t racist, he’s just really nostalgic. He still makes me check under the bed for Jews. Adorable!”

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