Woman using star sign as excuse for being total nightmare

A WOMAN is attempting to get away with being a bellend by claiming it’s because she is a Gemini, it has emerged.

Joanna Kramer responded to accusations that she is acting like a dick by blaming the date and time of her birth.

She said: “I know people think I’m a nasty piece of work who regularly backstabs friends and relatives but it’s not my fault, according to an article I read in Glamour magazine eight years ago.

“I’m a Gemini, so I’m naturally two-faced. Although I could also be an Aries, who are selfish bastards or a Sagittarius, who are immature attention seekers.

“Either way I am a knob due to the way the planets, Jupiter or whatever, were aligned when I was born.”

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Most people would act like arseholes all the time if they could, but are held back by the societal expectation of at least pretending to be pleasant.

“Astrology somehow circumvents this expectation, probably because it is made up nonsense and therefore impossible to make a rational argument against.”

He added: “I’m a Virgo, by the way.”