The Daily Mash - HITLER'S ASTROLOGER FORECAST GOOD NEWS ON PART-TIME JOB

HITLER'S ASTROLOGER FORECAST GOOD NEWS ON PART-TIME JOB

04-03-08

HITLER'S astrologer told the Nazi leader to expect good news about a part-time job or an unexpected cash gift from a family member, according to files just released by the National Archive.

Taureans are sensitive, artistic and genocidal

Writing on the eve of the Nazi leader’s disastrous invasion of Russia Hitler's personal astrologer Reinhard Vogelsang told the Fuhrer he was in line for a competition win, or some success on the horses.

Vogelsang said: "Whatever form your little windfall takes, enjoy spending it – a little luxury here or there will boost your spirits no end!"

As the war turned against him Hitler increasingly came to rely on the advice of Vogelsang, a graduate of the elite Nazi astrology college at Fockenschite.

Following the defeat at Stalingrad in February 1943 Vogelsang told the Fuhrer: "There's potentially a real boost to your social life today, connected to a favourite hobby or interest.

"Either way you’ll meet people who are really on your wavelength who could become firm friends!"

And as the Allies landed on the beaches of Normandy in June 1944 Vogelsang said: "Even if you've nothing special planned today, take time to appreciate those who appreciate you."

Vogelsang's notes reveal Hitler was initially sceptical about astrology. "The Fuhrer would sigh whenever Dr Goebbels got the newspaper out. But after a few minutes he was like, 'alright, what does it say about Taurus?'."

On the morning of the 30 April 1945, as the Russian Army moved into the heart of Berlin Vogelsang drew up his last prediction for the Fuhrer saying: "A more upbeat phase begins for Germany this week. Why not blow your fucking head off, you crazy bastard?"