Home arrow News
MAJORITY OF IRAQIS EXPECT TO STILL BE ALIVE BY LUNCHTIME Print Email this story

THE number of Iraqis expecting to still be alive by lunchtime has risen to an all-time high, an upbeat new survey shows.

Image
More than 60% wake up expecting to have their deaths reported on Newsround
In a boost to the American-led occupation, 53% said they were confident or quite confident they would make it to the middle of the day without a major attempt on their lives.

However, the figure drops sharply for later in the day, with only 38% expecting to still be alive in time for Newsround.

Sayid al-Qutb, a shopkeeper from Baghdad, said: “Things is much improve since American Bush arrive.

“I used to fear Saddam’s men come in night, kidnap me, put bag on head, then knock down house and plough salt into ground.

“Now when family disappear, it in big boom at supermarket. That much quicker. Much less worry yes?”

He added: “Also when Americans come take me away, they make me stand on bucket with wires attached to penis, but is not plugged in, like with Saddam. It just for laughs. Much improve.

“Now we get Sky+, but not filthy-dirty channel. I watch Premier League. Manchesters United. Much, much better. Still, even with Keegan, Newcastle is being shit, yes?”







 

Subscribe to the Mash

Get the Weekly Mash (it's free)


get the mash book

 
Daily Mash Shop
 

Get Mash headlines

Your stars: Scorpio

sagittarius

Don't bury your head in the sand in
the hope that you financial problems
disappear, bury the head of your
bank manager instead.

 

Mash TV

Mash TV2: Fire up the Quattro

Search The Mash

adhole