MI5 Chief Incredibly Bald
A SERVING head of MI5 has appeared before the press for the first time and he is incredibly bald.
Career spy Jonathan Evans spoke to reporters at the security service's London HQ, though photographers were banned as the camera flashes would have bounced off the top of his head and temporarily blinded everyone in the room.
The cloak of secrecy surrounding the hairyness of the MI5 chief has been lifted in recent years, though Mr Evans is understood to be the baldest man ever to hold the top job.
Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg said: "While it's refreshing that the head of MI5 is finally able to speak publicly, I am concered that our internal security is in the hands of someone so devastatingly bald.
"Baldness is a state of mind. We live in a post-bald era that requires post-bald thinking."
He added: "If Mr Evans wants to stage further press conferences may I suggest he wears a fez?"
Evans gave key insights into current MI5 stragegy including the revelation that killing lots of Muslims might make them want to kill us.
He also said the global recession would increase the threat of terror because it sounds as if it sort of makes sense.