War

Army to weaponise food allergies

THE army has developed new weapons exploiting the food intolerances of enemy soldiers.

World War III can't decide where to start

THE coming world war which will devastate 90 per cent of the planet can't settle on where to begin.

Badgers take Swindon

GOVERNMENT forces have fallen back from positions in Swindon and Wiltshire, abandoning the town to the Badger Army.

Russia excluded from True Detective finale

PRESIDENT Obama has announced sanctions against Russia which include a ban on the season finale of True Detective.

Battle re-enactors volunteer for Crimean war

BRITAIN’S historical battle re-enactors have volunteered their services for the forthcoming Crimean war.

UK most at risk from sexy women, says GCHQ

BRITAIN'S surveillance agency has revealed plans to gather more data on naturally buxom females.

Parallels with First World War doing historian’s head in

THE parallels with the First World War are totally doing a historian’s head in, it has been confirmed.

Angry Birds admits to being Islamo-fascist boot camp

The makers of Angry Birds have admitted that the game is a virtual training camp for militant Islam.