War

Queen destroys aircraft carrier

THE Queen has destroyed Britain’s newest aircraft carrier after hitting it with a bottle of whisky.

Thousands dead in Bannockburn re-enactment

OVER 5,000 people have been killed in a field in a faithful re-enactment of the Battle of Bannockburn.

Government unveils confidence-boosting invasion of Andorra

THE government is planing to invade the tiny nation of Andorra to rebuild national pride.

GCHQ using Twitter to ask if anyone’s planning any terrorism

THE UK’s intelligence agency is using Twitter to ask if anyone has any terrorist stuff going on this weekend.

US wondering if it should invade Iraq

AMERICA is wondering if it should invade Iraq to prevent the country from descending into a bloody civil war.

Teens being too soft for WW2 ‘not a massive problem’

THE fact that most young people would struggle to cope in World War Two may not be a problem, it has emerged.

Army to weaponise food allergies

THE army has developed new weapons exploiting the food intolerances of enemy soldiers.

World War III can't decide where to start

THE coming world war which will devastate 90 per cent of the planet can't settle on where to begin.