War

Planes kill baddies

LOTS of people died in Libya last night, but it's okay because they were baddies.

UN backs Radio 1 regime change

THE United Nations security council has paved the way for air strikes against Chris Moyles.

What gives? asks Tony the Prick

GOOMBA sleazeball Tony 'the Prick' Blair was being questioned today about his role in the Iraq war scamola.

Eggs regain terror status

EGGS are terrifying for the first time in more than 20 years, it has been confirmed.

Afghan war caused by MoD budget shenanigans, reveals email

THE war in Afghanistan was started so the Ministry of Defence could avoid a £13bn underspend, according to a leaked email.

Assange release causes sinister American to bang fist on table

THE release of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange yesterday caused a senior American to shout 'godammit' and bang his fist on a walnut conference table.

Wikileaks row stops someone from buying a Chris de Burgh album

THE point of Wikileaks became clear last night after viral attacks on credit card websites stopped someone from buying Chris de Burgh's The Storyman.

Assange to escape from police at the top of some stairs

POLICE today said they expected Wikileaks founder Julian Assange to attempt an escape, probably at the top of a long flight of stairs.