What gives? asks Tony the Prick
GOOMBA sleazeball Tony ‘the Prick’ Blair was being questioned today about his role in the Iraq war scamola.
The neocon kingpin was picked up in cental London this morning, but immediately denied killing lots of people and making huge amounts of money.
He said: “I am a businessman of some standing in this community. I go to church. I pray at the feet of the Blessed Mother and you drag me in here like I am some paisano with dirt under his fingernails.
“I should wish for you to be found in the trunk of a car with a bullet in your skull if I was a man of violence which I am not.”
Blair, also known as ‘Tony Blair Associates’ and ‘The Tony Blair Faith Foundation’ insisted the war was ‘all above board and legitimate’.
He said: “War? What war? It was piece of business, a transaction. What am I, some fuckin’ bustavagone?
“I get a call from a guy. He needs a thing. I say sure, no problem, long as I get my beak wet.
“I’m not gettin’ any younger and I gotta put bread on the table. JP Morgan don’t exactly hand out consultancies like they is communion wafers.”
The authorities presented sworn testimony from former associate Jack Straw who claims he only supported the war because Blair drugged him and then placed him in bed with a dead male prostitute.
But Blair dismissed the allegations, adding: “Hey, G-man what can I tell you? Go talk to my lawyers. But not Goldsmith ’cause he’s a fuckin’ mook.”
Tony the Prick is the biggest catch among more than 100 suspects who have been questioned including Gordon ‘Spiderman’ Brown and Alastair ‘the complete and utter psychopath’ Campbell.