From the vaults

• WE ONLY BUG THE BROWN ONES, SAY POLICE
• BROWN REALLY SHOULD BE ON PRESCRIPTION PAINKILLERS, SAYS BRITAIN
• GM FOOD COULD DEVOUR CROWS, CLAIMS BENN
• Weekending: Bank Holiday Special
• BASTARD WATER VOLES ARE LOVING IT

Latest stories

• CAPELLO SETS WORLD CUP ARREST TARGET
• MAD MEN DOLLS ALREADY HAVING COMPLICATED AFFAIRS WITH OTHER TOYS
• VATICAN POSSESSED BY PERVERTS, SAYS SCIENTIST
• INTELLIGENCE-BOOSTING DRUGS MAKE CHILDREN QUESTION POINT OF EXAMS

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