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By Karen Fenessey
WHO remembers the death of Mother Theresa? Did you even know she was dead? The reason people cannot remember the untimely passing of this mammoth Catholic in 1997 is because it was rudely eclipsed by the expiry of Lady Di and her Pakistani lover.
 Now I am horrified to see history repeating itself – except this time, Mother Therasa is Hilary Clinton and Lady Di is the Large Hadron Collider.
The Big Bang? The Big Bore, more like. In this day of eye-phones, digiboxes and GHDs, who really cares about some nonsense which happened back in prehistoric times? If you ask me, not only is this whole so-called 'collider' fiasco completely unnecessary and overpriced, it has also distracted everyone from a far more significant experiment occurring in the United States, namely the American democratic elections.
I went to bed one night, imagining I was equal, in every way, to my male colleagues and woke in the morning to headlines such as 'Obama wins' and 'Black Man Defiles Well-Dressed Woman in Democratic Showdown'. I hung my head in shame for the human race. How far have we really evolved when this is how we behave? Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying blacks shouldn't get to be president, but in the greatest sociological experiment of all time, Americans showed just which way their bread is buttered. After all these years it seems that in the pecking order of the western world, women still trail behind ethnics.
Okay, I admit slavery was disgraceful. But, when you think about it, it's not like they were being tortured or anything. They still had a roof over their heads and something to do during the day. And anyway, am I not a 'slave' to the British education system? Was Grace Jones, in her own words, not a 'slave' to the rhythm? And slaves were certainly never burned at the stake like Joan of Arc and all the other (alleged) witches. Did you ever see a slave burning his bra? No! That's because only the most profound kind of injustice and oppression can force a human to behave in such a way. I literally cry myself to sleep thinking about all those suffragettes and their flaming underwear.
I am ashamed to be a member of the human race. And maybe, if what they say about this large Hadron device is true, it would be better for everyone if we just made like an Islamic fundamentalist, blew ourselves up and disappeared into a black hole never to be heard of again.
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