Like you, I was utterly addicted to the Chilean miners and couldnâ€™t tear myself away when it came to eviction night.
NOW pay attention men. Last night at around 17.00 hours, I took delivery
of the latest batch of DVD videograms I've been asked to review,
courtesy of Mr Jones, who also included a lamb chop and two pork
My hotel is right on the Strip so I wasn't surprised when I found traces of GSR in my toilet. I was able to guesstimate the TOD to be 4am. There was no use looking for the VIC - he'd be six metres under the Nevada desert by now, his dental records vanished without a trace. Further investigations under the bed revealed a Riverdance DVD and a Scholl Party Foot...
"Something tells me the only type of music Simon Cowell can hear these days is the kind that's piping wistfully from his skin flute."
Dispatches from Poppy Spalding
Wednesday: San Francisco
Out clubbing, I met so many ultra-friendly gender pirates, including a stunning boy called Andy who was like seven feet-tall, even with his stilettos off...
Hi don't mind tellin' you hit hain't heasy gettin' the night awf, but Lady Penelope bein' the gracious woman what she is says to me: "If you really must slob around in your ghastly track suit bottoms watching the television then be my guest, Parker. But I insist you switch it awf by 11.30, and don't forget to leave the back door open so Raul the gardener can get in."
"Yes, it's the day everyone's been waiting for with a sense of grotesque inevitability: Lourdes has finally set to work on those eyebrows..."
I NEVER asked for this assignment, but I guess some dumb sonofabitch has got to do it. You see what those assholes in suits downtown don't understand is that when someone lets their dog crap on the pavement it's guys like me who have to put it in a plastic bag and dispose of it.