'This was a false flag' says arsehole who thinks everything is a f**king false flag

AN ARSEHOLE has claimed that every terrorist attack of the last 20 years was a 'false flag' perpetrated by the government.

Who is Morrissey? ask young people

PEOPLE under 25 have demanded to know who this so-called Morrissey is.

12 things that make Manchester better than pretty much anywhere

1. It, obviously, has the best bands. Sorry Glasgow and wherever else bands come from.  

Couple starting to wonder if argument is really about which tinned tomatoes to buy

A COUPLE disagreeing on which tinned tomatoes to buy are both wondering if the real problem lies elsewhere.

Ask Holly: How can I cheer myself up after such flabby orange ghastliness?

CHRISTIANS must have cheerful faces full of joy, yet my recent house guest has left me with a foul grimace and a heavy heart.

Humanity levels raised to 'high'

LEVELS of kindness and co-operation across the UK have been raised to their highest point in recent history.

Cuts mean army can do lots of other 'police stuff', says May

THERESA May has confirmed the army will increasingly ‘stand in’ for the police while reassuring Britain that it is 'totally fine'.

Everyone finally able to admit Roger Moore was best Bond

ROGER Moore was the best Bond even if it was never cool to say that, everyone has admitted.

Vatican 'like a two-star motel', Trump tells Pope

DONALD Trump has dismissed the the Vatican as 'low rent' and told the Pope to spend some money on it.