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	<title>The Daily Mash &#187; Politics</title>
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		<title>Farage attacked by Scottish Farage</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/farage-attacked-by-scottish-farage-2013051769143</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 08:43:50 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69143</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[NIGEL Farage stared through the looking glass yesterday as he was besieged in an Edinburgh pub by demented nationalists. The UKIP leader had gone to Scotland to talk about why the country you come from is the most important thing about you, but was forced to flee by some furious Scottish people who believe exactly [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Is Clegg still deputy prime minister? asks Huhne</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/is-clegg-still-deputy-prime-minister-asks-huhne-2013051368456</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 May 2013 08:14:37 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=68456</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[CHRIS Huhne left prison today and demanded to know of jet packs, food pills and whether Nick Clegg was somehow still in the government. After his long incarceration the former cabinet minister stared in wonder at the latest version of the Volkswagen Golf and asked if it was &#8216;driven by a robot&#8217;. He then quizzed [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Dorries to be used as bait for UKIP freaks</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/dorries-to-be-used-as-bait-for-ukip-freaks-2013050968071</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 May 2013 09:58:01 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics Headlines]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=68071</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE Conservative Party has reinstated Nadine Dorries in a bid to lure UKIP voters who like their politics nice and mad. Party chiefs said the MP, who was suspended for being worse than Anne Widdecombe, now has the prime minister&#8217;s backing to be mental on Newsnight. A party spokesman said: &#8220;A referendum bill will take [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Queen to crowbar cannabis legalisation into speech</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/queen-to-crowbar-cannabis-legalisation-into-speech-2013050767719</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 May 2013 08:33:06 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=67719</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE Queen will announce the legalisation of cannabis tomorrow, against the government's wishes.]]></description>
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		<title>Lib Dems beaten by bright orange and yellow fascist</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/lib-dems-beaten-by-bright-orange-and-yellow-fascist-2013050367665</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 May 2013 15:05:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics Headlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=67665</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The LIBERAL Democrats were last night beaten by a fascist who looks like she was made in a primary school. Lady Dorothy MacBeth Brookes beat the party of government into seventh place in the South Shields by-election by painting herself orange and complaining about people who look different. A Lib Dem spokesman said: &#8220;Her colour [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Tories not sufficiently unhinged, concedes Cameron</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/tories-not-sufficiently-unhinged-concedes-cameron-2013050367589</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 May 2013 10:51:42 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics Headlines]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=67589</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DAVID Cameron has pledged to take the Conservative Party back to its mentally disturbed basics.]]></description>
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		<title>UKIP membership drive to include free golliwog</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/ukip-membership-drive-to-include-free-golliwog-2013050167224</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 May 2013 07:27:08 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[THE UK Independence Party has launched a membership drive offering a traditional British golliwog to anyone who joins by the end of May.]]></description>
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		<title>British vaginas are the best in the world, says Farage</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/british-vaginas-are-the-best-in-the-world-says-farage-2013042466501</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2013 09:25:24 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[NIGEL Farage has admitted conducting research into foreign female genitalia.]]></description>
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		<title>Gove: &#8216;Fun is a relic of history&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/gove-fun-is-a-relic-of-history-2013041966164</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Apr 2013 12:25:11 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=66164</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[MICHAEL Gove has unveiled plans to padlock children inside schools until they have absorbed all knowledge. He said: &#8220;The school holidays only exist so kids can have &#8216;fun&#8217;, which is the relic of a bygone age. &#8220;There is no fun now, only work and consumption. &#8220;Then the sweet release of death.&#8221;]]></description>
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		<title>Miliband not even good at masturbating</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/miliband-not-even-good-at-masturbating-2013041565551</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 07:37:06 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[ED Miliband cannot even masturbate like a proper grown-up, it has been confirmed.]]></description>
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		<title>MPs to be paid in food stamps</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/mps-to-be-paid-in-food-vouchers-2013032864166</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Mar 2013 09:36:34 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[MEMBERS of Parliament will receive their salaries in food vouchers to prevent them wasting money on alcohol and duck houses.]]></description>
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		<title>Cameron just happens to release names of people damaging Russian interests</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/cameron-just-happens-to-release-names-of-people-damaging-russian-interests-2013032763976</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 08:54:21 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=63976</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DAVID Cameron has casually mentioned the names of some people who are 'really standing in Russia's way'.]]></description>
		</item>
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		<title>Ed Miliband to join Scooby Doo Gang</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/ed-miliband-to-join-scooby-doo-gang-2013032763977</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 08:50:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics Headlines]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=63977</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ED Miliband is to quit the Labour leadership and join a gang of amateur detectives led by a ravenous Great Dane.]]></description>
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		<title>Gove kidnapped by Marxist militants</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/gove-kidnapped-by-marxist-militants-2013032563746</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Mar 2013 10:34:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[MICHAEL Gove has been abducted by the militant Marxist group Enemies of Promise.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>This housing boom will be perfect, says Osborne</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/this-housing-boom-will-be-perfect-says-osborne-2013032163413</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Mar 2013 08:17:57 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics Headlines]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=63413</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[GEORGE Osborne has reassured Britain that the new housing boom he is trying to create will never, ever end.<img title="More..." alt="" src="http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif" />]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Osborne buys you for 1p</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/chancellor-buys-you-for-1p-2013032063398</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Mar 2013 15:08:54 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=63398</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[GEORGE Osborne has successfully bought the electorate for a single pence. His Budget sliced the shiny penny from a lovely pint of beer, in a thinly-veiled act of political condescension that has totally worked. Father-of-two Tom Booker said: &#8220;I think beer is really great, and I am also keen on coins, which after all can [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Osborne putting off doing Budget</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/osborne-putting-off-doing-budget-2013031362539</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Mar 2013 09:40:18 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=62539</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[GEORGE Osborne is putting off doing the Budget with a series of trivial distractions.]]></description>
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		<title>Britons reclassified as snails</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/britons-reclassified-as-snails-2013030461604</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 04 Mar 2013 09:15:36 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[UK RESIDENTS are to be reclassified as snails, in a government bid to avoid the jurisdiction of the European Court of Human Rights.]]></description>
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		<title>Tories beaten by &#8216;perfect storm&#8217; of Huhne, Rennard and nutjobs</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/tories-beaten-by-perfect-storm-of-huhne-rennard-and-nutjobs-2013030161514</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 Mar 2013 09:25:11 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics Headlines]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=61514</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE Tories admitted there was no way they could have won the Eastleigh by-election as their opponents were either mired in scandal or completely insane.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Lib Dems to be replaced by dysfunctional family from east end of Glasgow</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/lib-dems-to-be-replaced-by-dysfunctional-family-from-east-end-of-glasgow-2013022761209</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Feb 2013 09:48:46 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics Headlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=61209</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE Conservative are to form a new coalition with the MacPherson family from Glasgow&#8217;s notorious Easterhouse estate. Prime minister David Cameron said he was keen to work with the MacPhersons as they currently had fewer people under criminal investigation or awaiting sentence than the Liberal Democrats. He added: &#8220;When I asked the eldest son, Bobby, [...]]]></description>
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