GEORGE Osborne is to announce multi-billion pound service cuts with more than 16,000 white diamonds glued to his body.
THE Work and Pensions Secretary is to spend the next 4,570 nights stacking shelves at Poundland.
THE Prime Minister has admitted that 60% of his cabinet are immigrants from Eastern Europe.
ENERGY executives have escaped a grilling after a power cut at the Houses of Parliament.
ENERGY Secretary Ed Davey has turned detective to find out why bills for gas and electricity are rising so sharply.
NICK Clegg is to break away from the Liberal Democrats to form a party called Nick.
THE Prime Minister has instructed his new cabinet to initiate high-profile sex scandals.
ED Miliband has revealed that his father loved Britain but disliked David Miliband intensely.