David Davis to negotiate Brexit by pretending to be deaf

DAVID Davis is to get through the next round of Brexit negotiations by cupping his hand to his ear and pretending he is unable to hear.

I'm here for the long term, says wasp in kitchen

A LATE-SUMMER wasp in a kitchen has reassured the electorate that it is here for the long-term.

May goes in for upgrade

THERESA May has been returned to her Japanese manufacturers Hitachi for a full factory upgrade.  

Kezia Dugdale quits to become prophet of doom

SCOTTISH Labour leader Kezia Dugdale has quit to wander her native land as a scorned prophet whose warnings of imminent destruction will be ignored. 

Gary Neville's commentary on the Brexit negotiations

FORMER Manchester United footballer Gary Neville has been providing live commentary on the ongoing Brexit negotiations. Here are some highlights.

Home Office accidentally deports all Brexiters

AN administrative error means everyone who voted to leave the EU will be deported in a matter of weeks, it has emerged.

May back from holiday with terrific idea

THE prime minister has returned from her walking holiday in the Alps with what she promises is an “absolute genius” idea.

Britain needs an anti-Brexit centrist party, says politician studiously ignoring the Lib Dems

UK voters desperately want a pro-European party with sensible centrist policies, according to a politician determined to ignore the existence of the Lib Dems.