Politics

Gove kidnapped by Marxist militants

MICHAEL Gove has been abducted by the militant Marxist group Enemies of Promise.

This housing boom will be perfect, says Osborne

GEORGE Osborne has reassured Britain that the new housing boom he is trying to create will never, ever end.

Osborne putting off doing Budget

GEORGE Osborne is putting off doing the Budget with a series of trivial distractions.

Britons reclassified as snails

UK RESIDENTS are to be reclassified as snails, in a government bid to avoid the jurisdiction of the European Court of Human Rights.

Tories beaten by 'perfect storm' of Huhne, Rennard and nutjobs

THE Tories admitted there was no way they could have won the Eastleigh by-election as their opponents were either mired in scandal or completely insane.

Lib Dems 'too sexy'

SENIOR Liberal Democrat men are to change the way they dress and act because they have become too sexy.