Politics

We are ideologically opposed to fixing any problems, say Tories

THE Conservative party has confirmed it is opposed, on both a theoretical and practical level, to solving any of the problems faced by modern Britain.

Just f**k off out of it, May tells voters

THERESA May has told Britain’s electorate that her deal with the DUP is none of their f**king business.

Because I’m worth it, says May

THERESA May has confirmed that a supremely skilled politician like herself is easily worth £1 billion. 

Remainer celebrates one year of feeling morally superior

A REMAIN supporter has marked one year of feeling superior to the ignorant plebs who supported Brexit.

Crowd at Northamptonshire village fete breaks into chant of 'Andrea Leadsom'

A PASSIONATE crowd of about 15 people broke into chants of 'Oh, Andrea Leadsom' at a village fete in Northamptonshire yesterday.

Brexiter unable to find any street parties

A COMMITTED Brexiter has yet to find a street party celebrating Britain’s very own independence day.

May unable to do deal at Tesco checkout

THE prime minister has caused chaos at a Tesco checkout after being unable to do a deal where she handed over money for goods.

Queen’s Speech ends with ‘f**k this’

THE Queen’s Speech has ended abruptly with the words ‘fuck this,’ spoken halfway through a sentence, before the monarch wandered off.