Politics

Cameron annoys all humans

DAVID Cameron is close to winning a £1 bet with Boris Johnson that he can annoy every single human.

Government ditches plan to educate people

THE government has scrapped plans to educate people aged between five and 22.

Independent Scotland to blame cats

UNABLE to continue blaming the English for their misfortunes, an independent Scotland will instead hate cats.

Clegg basically resigns

NICK Clegg has basically resigned from everything he does.

Britain to decide why it's shit

DAVID Cameron has pledged to settle, once and for all, the question of why Britain is so shit.