Politics

Hunt perfects ‘shit pizza’ technique

HEALTH secretary Jeremy Hunt has developed a new technique for burying catastrophic news with disastrous opinions.

Cameron to claim he was molested by Jimmy Savile

DAVID Cameron will attempt to appease Tory rebels by claiming Jimmy Savile touched him up when he was 14.

Crazed David Miliband picking off conference delegates

ED Miliband's demented, disfigured brother is murdering delegates at the Labour Party conference.

Government 'wasted thousands on swearing consultants'

MINISTERS hired costly experts to develop their swearing skills, it has emerged.

Labourers descend on Manchester

MINERS, navvies, totters and wheeltappers have hit Manchester in their cloth-capped droves.

I'm such a little shit, reveals Jack Straw

FORMER foreign secretary Jack Straw has revealed the precise extent to which he is a self-regarding, cowardly little turd.

Ed Miliband 'way better at computers than Cameron'

THE Labour leader's computer skills are light years ahead of David Cameron's, it has emerged.

The Andrew Mitchell police log in full

Whilst on duty at *** tonight (Wed 19th Sept) on a 1400-2200 hrs between the hours of 1800-2000 I had to deal with a man on a bike claiming to be Wolverine from the X-Men.