ED Miliband is to quit the Labour leadership and join a gang of amateur detectives led by a ravenous Great Dane.
MICHAEL Gove has been abducted by the militant Marxist group Enemies of Promise.
GEORGE Osborne has reassured Britain that the new housing boom he is trying to create will never, ever end.
GEORGE Osborne is putting off doing the Budget with a series of trivial distractions.
UK RESIDENTS are to be reclassified as snails, in a government bid to avoid the jurisdiction of the European Court of Human Rights.
THE Tories admitted there was no way they could have won the Eastleigh by-election as their opponents were either mired in scandal or completely insane.