Beat me harder this time, begs Goldsmith

ZAC Goldsmith has begged voters in Richmond Park to beat him again and harder because he is a contemptible worm who deserves it.

May considering bringing back workhouses for a laugh

THERESA May is so confident of her election victory that she is toying with bringing back workhouses just because she could.

The f**k is a mugwump? asks Corbyn

JEREMY Corbyn has made a private call to Downing Street to ask what the fuck a mugwump is and if he is meant to be offended.

Tim Farron: I do not hate 'the gays'

LIBERAL Democrat leader Tim Farron has stated that ‘the gays’, whether ‘boy gays’ or the rarer ‘girl gays’, are just fine with him.

Gran who doesn’t understand politics really impressed by Theresa May

A WOMAN who mostly ignores politics thinks Theresa May is a wonderful person doing her best in difficult circumstances.

UKIP to ban snoods, foreign cheese and all curries hotter than a rogan josh

UKIP has unveiled its manifesto with a pledge to ban the snood, hot curry and ‘untrustworthy’ foreign cheese.

We will vote Conservative because we deserve to be punished, says Britain

BRITONS will elect a Conservative government because they believe they are bad and deserve to suffer, polls have confirmed.

My government is a weak, unstable, leaderless rabble, says May in interview slip

THERESA May has accidentally contradicted her ‘strong, stable, leadership’ electoral message in a live interview.