May hoping for 'constructive relationship' with creationist homophobes who think Pope is Satan

THE Conservative Party has reassured Britain that the government being propped up by swivel-eyed, religious lunatics will be ‘totally fine’.  

Jubilant Corbyn celebrates defeat by an idiot

LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn has congratulated himself after being beaten by a political idiot.

Please stay while we savour your humiliation, Britain tells May

THE UK has ordered Theresa May to remain in position for a few weeks so it can relish her humiliation.

Everyone on your social media in agreement

EVERYONE on your social media accounts agrees that it will be a Tory landslide or a shock Labour victory, depending on who you are. 

Fate of nation depends on whether it's nice out

THOUSANDS of Briton are deciding whether or not democracy is worth getting rained on.

I am not evil because I am wearing white, explains May

THERESA May has explained to Britain that she is not the bad guy in this election because she is wearing white.

Couple staying up to watch their brief interest in politics die in real time

A COUPLE are staying up all night to witness the live televised death of their fleeting interest in politics.

Britain to make f**king awful decision

THE UK is on its way to the polling station to make a decision it is certain it will regret.