Politics

Clegg put in charge of the paranormal

NICK Clegg has denied being sidelined by the government after becoming Minister for Paranormal Investigations.

UKIP Policy Napkin unveiled

WITH opinion polls placing UKIP as the UK’s third most popular political party, their leader Nigel Farage has hastily made up some policies over dinner.

Liberal Democrats announce coalition with Flat Earth Society

THE Liberal Democrats are to join forces with the Flat Earth Society after the two groups double-booked a function room in Brighton.

Andrew Mitchell 'ejaculated into nurse's handbag'

GOVERNMENT chief whip Andrew Mitchell is a serial abuser of public servants, it has emerged.

Clegg convinces himself apology was genuine

LIB DEM leader Nick Clegg has succeeded in believing the sincerity of his own apology.

Romney 'repulsed' by people under six foot

MITT Romney’s presidential campaign suffered a blow today as footage emerged of him calling for the deportation of relatively short people.

Clegg apologises for principles

NICK Clegg has apologised for having a moral viewpoint on something.

Britain demands amusing prime minister

BORIS Johnson will become Prime Minister because he seems funny, it has been claimed.