Politics

Any policy Michael Gove had anything to do with is f**king cancelled, says May

THERESA May has confirmed that Michael Gove’s prison reform, education policies and canteen pass have all been cancelled with extreme prejudice.

Keith Vaz not going to resign because Labour doesn’t really do that anymore

DISGRACED MP Keith Vaz has refused to resign because that is not how Labour works these days.

Clegg book stuns with revelation that Gove and Osborne are twats

NICK Clegg’s memoir has left the nation reeling with the revelation that Gove and Osborne are a pair of twats.

Rowling could be Labour prime minister tomorrow, confirm sane people

A LABOUR Party led by JK Rowling would win an election easily, according to voters who have maintained their grasp on reality.

Brexit brainstorm comes up with idea of staying in Europe

A BREXIT brainstorming session has come up with the idea of boosting the UK’s economy by remaining in the EU.

Corbyn incompetence just to wind up Owen Smith

WITH his re-election as Labour leader a certainty, Jeremy Corbyn has admitted he is only performing hopelessly to annoy rival Owen Smith.

Second referendum voters ‘might try finding out about it this time’

VOTERS might try to find out what they are voting for if there is a second EU referendum, they have announced.

Corbyn massively outstays welcome at friend’s house

LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn regularly stays far too long when he visits a friend’s house.