Politics

Cameron, Miliband and Clegg urged to rule out all forms of government

BRITAIN’S three main political parties have been urged to rule out any kind of government whatsoever after the next election.

North Sea oil demands independence from Scotland

THE North Sea's oil and gas fields have mounted a campaign to cut all ties with Scotland and govern themselves.

Cameron reading Murder in the Cathedral

DAVID Cameron has been seen flicking through an old copy of a play about the king having a bishop killed.

Welfare reform is Luke Skywalker, says Cameron

THE prime minister has claimed that welfare reform offers ‘new hope, like Luke Skywalker at the beginning of Star Wars’.

Economic recovery delivers poll boost for nutters

THE economic recovery is finally paying dividends for Britain’s craziest political nutjobs.

Spite is main reason people support Conservatives

TORY voters are motivated mostly by spite, it has been claimed.

I have a ten-second memory, Pickles repeatedly tells press

ERIC Pickles has admitted his memory only goes back a fraction of a minute.

Crow and Johnson 'will succumb to sexual tension'

BOB Crow and Boris Johnson will soon succumb to the sexual tension between them, according to ACAS.