Racist nans now in charge

PARTY leaders are to meet with prejudiced nans after it emerged they were responsible for the UKIP landslide.

I am shit at this, admits Clegg

NICK Clegg has refused to resign as Lib Dem leader but has admitted he is absolutely shit at it.

Pupils to study Gove’s self-published novels

ALL schools will teach Michael Gove’s self-published novels about talking dragons and happy housewives.

UK thanks Russell Brand

THAT not-voting thing has worked out brilliantly, Britain has told Russell Brand.

UKIP councillors told they can't withdraw Doncaster from EU

NEWLY elected UKIP councillors across the country are ready to be wholly powerless to act on immigration and EU membership.

Britain wondering what weak-willed, power-hungry Conservative Party will do now

BRITAIN is wondering what impact UKIP’s electoral success could possibly have on the Conservative Party.

Voters do walk of shame

BRITISH voters have woken up this morning mortified about what they got up to at yesterday's elections.

‘Socialist’ now an insult

RIGHT-WING people are making the term ‘socialist’ into a scathing insult, it has emerged.