UKIP flattened like an M6 hedgehog

UKIP has been flattened in the local elections like a hedgehog under a convoy of HGVs, it has been confirmed.

I am a strong, stable, paranoid lunatic, says May

THERESA May has told the nation she is a strong, stable leader with paranoid delusions that she has enemies hidden everywhere.

Man distrusts all politicians unless they're right-wing bastards

A MAN who claims all politicians are crooks and liars trusts them implicitly if they are right-wing, it has emerged.

May offered me drugs, claims Juncker

EUROPEAN Commission president Jean-Claude Juncker claimed the prime minister offered him a range of narcotics over dinner.

May promises she won't raise VAT or call a snap election

THERESA May has pledged not to raise VAT or to call a snap general election ever.

Poll reveals no-one has ever met anyone who has taken part in a poll

THE number of people who know someone who has taken part in an opinion poll is zero, according to a new poll.

May admits she got ‘strong and stable’ from leaflet about erectile dysfunction

THERESA May has been forced to admit her ‘strong and stable’ catchphrase was lifted from an NHS leaflet about erectile dysfunction.

Britain begs for even earlier election

THE public has urged the prime minister to call an even earlier election, like next Tuesday, so this bullshit can end.