The Daily Mash has crunched the numbers on yesterday's Budget to work out how it will affect your ability to buy all that stupid shit your television keeps telling you that you need.
CHANCELLOR George Osborne is to throw everyone in Coventry out of work
after a brilliant suggestion from Harriet Harman.
PUBLIC spending should be cut on everything except all the stuff I use, everyone in Britain said today.
NICK Griffin is to step down as leader of the British National Party and
form a funk/reggae fusion project with
CARTOON despot Skeletor has launched his bid for the Labour leadership.