Politics

Brexit optimism highest among people who love setting fire to things

PEOPLE who love starting fires and watching others run for their lives are the most upbeat about Brexit, it has emerged.

Blair to die for our sins

TONY Blair has opened his arms wide and announced his readiness to die for the sins of ignorant Brexit voters.

Corbyn lured away with fake Labour party

MPS have set up a decoy Labour party to keep Jeremy Corbyn harmlessly occupied while someone else takes over, they have revealed.

John Bercow confirms plan to 'take the revolution to Bolivia'

FREEDOM fighter John Bercow has announced plans to launch a revolution in Bolivia.

'Corbyn' now a slang term for useless thing

THE word 'Corbyn' has become a popular idiom for something that is utterly fucking useless.

Everyone starting to wonder if absolute maniacs are best people to be in charge

THE general public are slowly beginning to realise that absolute head cases might not be the best people to run everything.

You might be surprised to learn I don't like protesters, says May

THERESA May has admitted that she considers all protesters to be an undisciplined, filthy rabble who should be locked up.

Farage to take Trump to pub he pretends to drink in

NIGEL Farage has offered to take Donald Trump to the pub he pretends he drinks in whenever he wants to appeal to the common man.