Politics

Scotland allowed to run the UK every other year

DAVID Cameron has agreed to let Edinburgh and London take turns running the country.

Westminster vows never to allow vote on anything that matters ever again

MPs have pledged that voters will never again be given the power to actually change anything.

Cameron lists all the Scottish things he can think of

DAVID Cameron has listed more than 400 Scottish things, including Take The High Road, Finlays Crisps and Runrig, in a final desperate plea for the Union.  

You con your idiots, I’ll con mine, Salmond tells Miliband

ALEX Salmond has told Ed Miliband to 'button it' after the Labour leader tried to expose his epic scam.

Surfing has too many rich kids, says Cameron

THE prime minister has complained that Cornish surfing is dominated by a clique of wealthy public schoolboys.

UKIP voters say Carswell is way too normal

UKIP voters have insisted they did not sign up for a party that was going to include politicians who could almost pass for normal.

Can I have my free golliwog now? asks Carswell

THE Tory MP who defected to UKIP has asked when he gets his free golliwog.

Poor people prefer shit things, explains Cameron

GOVERNMENT cuts affect poor people less because they like horrible cheap shit, David Cameron has explained.