Politics

Actually we are a bit plebby, admit policemen

POLICEMEN have admitted they enjoy Typhoo tea, the comedian Jethro and Sweet & Spicy Pot Noodles.

Miliband reveals packed gaffe schedule

ED Miliband has revealed that he is struggling to keep up with his packed diary of PR blunders.

Scotland too much of a paradise to ever leave, confirm millionaires

SCOTLAND to tax its millionaires because they could never find anywhere nicer to live.

Tactical voters hopelessly confused

TACTICAL voters no longer have any idea who they are meant to be voting for or who they are trying to keep out, they have admitted.

Nigel Farage outside Downing St jiggling legs impatiently

UKIP leader Nigel Farage has begged the Government to just let him take over now because he is too excited to wait any longer.

Miliband now less impressive than D-list celebrity who’s talking shit

ED Miliband is now less convincing than a former member of Hear’Say.

UK to become ‘moneyless’ economy

BRITAIN is to take the idea of the ‘cashless’ economy a step further by becoming a moneyless economy, George Osborne has announced.

Miliband’s brain to be transplanted into manly body

THE brain of Labour leader Ed Miliband is to be transplanted into the body of male model David Gandy.