Politics

Don't worry, there's loads of ways around it, Tories reassure rich

THE Conservatives have reassured wealthy voters that there are loads of loopholes in their death tax and they will not lose a penny.

Any policies you quite like are bullshit, confirms media

ANY policies that seem like a good idea to you are actually total bullshit, newspapers have confirmed.

The Mash guide to the Labour Manifesto

CRITICS call it 'the longest passive-aggressive kitchen note to housemates in history', but what is actually in Labour's Little Red Book?

Theresa May's campaign schedule for today

AN exclusive look at Theresa May's campaign schedule for today, and every other day.

Labour given 500,000-vote head start to make this vaguely interesting

THE Labour party will receive a head start in the election to try and inject a bit of tension, it has emerged.

Man being passionately political on Facebook will definitely forget to vote

A MAN who won't shut up about how important it is to vote will forget to do it due to being in the pub.

Labour manifesto pledges to restore Tom Baker as Doctor Who

LABOUR’S manifesto promises to reverse decades of free-market mismanagement and return Tom Baker to his rightful position as Doctor Who.

May pledges free vote on vicars cycling past village greens while cricketers hit sixes into cloudless skies

THERESA May has promised MPs a free vote on the ‘nation-defining’ issue of whether vicars can still greet policemen while cycling past village greens at sunset.