Public school ponce acts pretty ballsy

DAVID Cameron showed an unexpected level of front by calling out 200,000 heavily-armed killers yesterday.

Osborne to ring-fence part of your brain

GEORGE Osborne is to ring-fence the part of your brain that does not want to spend money on loads of stuff.

Thatcher agrees to meet Palin if she can hit her with a stick

BARONESS Thatcher has agreed to meet Sarah Palin if she can whack her with a big stick every time she says something stupid.

Cuts attacked by people who think they are a bad idea

THE debate over government cutbacks took a dramatic turn last night after they were attacked by some people who have never liked them.

MPs debate whether that Imogen is just a gold digger or what

THE House of Commons has staged a landmark debate on whether that Imogen Thomas knew what she was doing all along, so she did.

Clegg to veto punctuation in NHS reform bill

NICK Clegg restored his political authority today by threatening a revolt over the use of punctuation in the NHS reform bill.

High street inquiry takes about four seconds

AN inquiry into why Britain's high streets are in decline has been launched and published in the time it took to read this sentence.

I would show hotel maids my slides, pledges Brown

GORDON Brown has said that if he becomes head of the IMF the worst thing he would do to a hotel maid is make her incredibly bored.