FALLING unemployment and signs of economic recovery have left Ed Miliband dangerously close to self-befoulment.
THE all-powerful Bilderberg Group has met to decide whether the puffball skirt will make a comeback in autumn.
PUPILS should be encouraged to read Judy Blume's classic teen novels about tender sexual awakenings, according to Michael Gove.
IAIN Duncan Smith has denied trying to impregnate a young jackal.
DAVID Cameron has admitted that he is the senior Tory who called activists 'swivel-eyed loons'.