Politics

Tim Farron promises to lead Liberal Democrats out of room

NEW Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron has vowed to lead the party’s eight MPs out of the meeting room they are currently confined in.

Dads approve Corbyn’s functional beige clothing

MIDDLE-AGED men have expressed approval for Jeremy Corbyn’s practical, biscuit-coloured attire.

Labour split on how to self-destruct

LABOUR members are divided on how best to lock the party out of power for a generation, it has emerged.

Child poverty renamed ‘infant cash flow problems'

THE government has announced that child poverty is now known as infant cash flow problems.

IDS fires Kalashnikov into air

IAIN Duncan Smith has been reprimanded for firing a machine gun into the air following yesterday's budget speech. 

‘Andy Burnham’ a composite designed by Labour committee

THE  Labour leadership favourite was created using Photoshop and a computer programmed regional accent, it has emerged.

Next Labour PM celebrates 10th birthday

THE boy who will be Britain’s next Labour Prime Minister in 2056 turned 10 years old yesterday.

Cameron moves Syria Post-it to eye-level

DAVID Cameron has decisively moved a Post-it note reading “Action on Syria?!?” to eye-level on his fridge door.