Burden should fall on those with the most character, says Osborne

OLD people must bear the burden of the top rate tax cut because they are so good at it, George Osborne has insisted.

Osborne mistakes himself for WWE wrestler

GEORGE Osborne has pledged to crack down on tax avoidance by pretending to be Hulk Hogan.

Cameron unveils passing of enormous buck

DAVID Cameron has outlined plans to pass the largest buck in British history.

Life to be slightly easier for people who are absolutely fine

GEORGE Osborne will next week make life at least 10 per cent better for people who have nothing to worry about.

Livingstone promises more magical nannies

KEN Livingstone has pledged to boost childcare for Londoners with the introduction of magic nannies.

Dog eats Miliband's leadership skills

ED Miliband's ability to be prime minster has been eaten by an alsatian.

Cameron has concept of strike action explained to him

DAVID Cameron has finally grasped the basic concept of industrial action after a gruelling 14-hour tutorial.

Pickles told to come up with something not involving food

TUCK-LOVING Communities Secretary Eric Pickles has been severely reprimanded after unveiling yet another grub-based 'cohesion strategy'.