MICHAEL Gove is to spend his days in his local library, using the internet in a furtive manner.
MILLIONAIRES who tried to avoid donating to the Conservative party are to be hit with punitive tax bills.
THE prime minister is marching around outside the European Parliament with hand-painted signs.
The Liberal Democrat party is writing a manifesto to be found on a coffee table beside its dangling corpse.
TONY Blair is off his nut, according to people who thought the invasion of Iraq was a brilliant idea.
THE prime minister has called on the people of Britain to be less reserved.
THERE has, of late, been talk that I may soon take ownership of the Conservative Party.
THE Daily Mail’s successful campaign to charge for plastic bags has confirmed that the tabloid newspaper is effectively running the country.