Politics

Spend All The Money On Me, Everyone Tells Osborne

PUBLIC spending should be cut on everything except all the stuff I use, everyone in Britain said today.

Nation's Purse Strings Controlled By A Ginger

A FRESHLY terrified Britain was gaping into the abyss today as David Cameron handed control of the nation's purse strings to a ginger.

Constitutional Status Of 'Question Time' Under Threat

THE government is undermining Question Time's role at the heart of the British constitution, it was claimed last night.

Nick Griffin To Tour With Aswad

NICK Griffin is to step down as leader of the British National Party and form a funk/reggae fusion project with Aswad.

Skeletor Joins Labour Leadership Race

CARTOON despot Skeletor has launched his bid for the Labour leadership.

Miliband Pissed The Bed When He Was 15, Says Other Miliband

LABOUR leadership challenger Ed Miliband pissed the bed when he was 15, David Miliband said yesterday.

Morecambe And Wise To Make Everything More Expensive

BRITAIN'S favourite entertainers are to make everything you buy much more expensive before deciding whether to let you keep your house.

The Torch Has Been Passed To A New Generation Of Public School Nancy Boys

BRITAIN'S long, national nightmare was over last night as the nation was once again placed in the safe, reliable hands of some vaguely effeminate public school boys.